“Cis people never question their gender”

The statement “cis people don’t question their gender” is a common trope in many online transgender communities. When a female poster asks r/asktransgender about her feelings about her gender, stating that she wants to dress in male clothes and be “suave and dapper and charismatic” instead of “cute, bubbly, and adorable”, she gets this reply:


It’s that simple apparently. Being uncomfortable with female clothes and stereotypes = trans. The same sentiment comes up over and over again in various posts:






This post, where the OP, a male who loves his penis but likes to dress up as a woman because he “gets off on the humiliation”, asks “is it normal for a cis male to even question his gender?”.


The same poster posts again shortly after, saying that “I think I may be gender fluid and I don’t want to be. I just want to be a normal guy. I don’t want to be two genders. I just want to be a man.”, and that “I don’t desire transition. I don’t need to. I like to work out, I want abs like Batman. I want to be a big strong guy. So maybe it is just me being insecure…but still…”

Some of the replies:


Another commenter disagrees:


However, this single sane reply does not seem to make an impression on OP, who posts again, asking “what does it feel like to be a woman?”. When someone suggests he might be “gender fluid”, he states that he is not happy with that, and wishes to be “a normal happy man who doesn’t think he is a woman”. The reply he gets is that this is not possible. “This is not something you grow or mature out of”, and “people who try the same things don’t get much better results”.


It’s not only on reddit either. The question is brought up on this forum: “Do cis people ever think they’re trans?”




The meme that is reinforced again and again is that questioning your gender identity means you are trans. And like we saw in a previous post, the only cure for this is transitioning medically and socially. It is worth noting that this idea is reinforced again and again not only for the poster, but for everyone who reads the post. If you regularly read communities like these, you get this idea hammered into your head every time you read these comments.

9 thoughts on ““Cis people never question their gender”

  1. First time poster, here. I am woman born woman of a lesbian orientation. I discovered your site from reading GenderTrender to which I was recommended by an ex-girlfriend now good friend.
    I have spoken with trans people, been honoured to call them friends, but I have noticed for myself they do not like to be questioned. Once Trans, Always Trans.
    I am not one of those who Facebooks or Twits or whatever it’s called, and have a very tiny internet presence, I post on one or two sites but am not a joiner so would rather stay on the outside. But I just had to comment that reading this on-line trans advice reminds of some of them. They get almost hysterical in their denouncement of those who might say, as I have, “surely being allowed to work out your orientation is best”.
    Anyway, I just want to put;
    These transpeople are mistaken. I am not a one to try and invalidate their experiences, but if you are questioning means that is it, which way should I go. Doesn’t mean you are fixed trans or cis. It means working out your own conclusions, maybe if there is anyone close you can trust you can share it with, or a medical person, but I wouldn’t get advice from any well meaning self appointed agony aunt on Internet forums, especially on something so delicate and life altering as this.
    The transpeople also say, “you don’t understand what it’s like”. But I do. I’m not going into my medical history but I do know.
    Thank you for allowing me to have my say.


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