Learning how to be a woman: take less space, smile, and put on an innocent face

Poster “alwaysaprincess” needs help: “what are the most important body languages, poses, walking, etc that will make you as girly as possible?”

Here is some of the advice given by commenters.


Men strut, women walk like they are flinging water balloons ahead of their toes.


Women take up less space, point their toes inward and curl into little balls when sitting in chairs.


“Smile more, keep your legs together”, and “just think to yourself innocence”. Whatever that means.


“Smile more”. Because apparently you aren’t truly a woman if you have bitchy resting face.

This is just one post, and it’s full of stereotypes about how men and women act. This is a recurring theme in these communities, and one that we will be revisiting again and again in this blog. Many people seem to think that trans people are all about breaking down gender stereotypes, and “smashing the binary”, while in reality many of them are extremely preoccupied with conforming to strict gender roles.

As a side note, it’s curious that there are so many of these questions in online trans communities, when the narrative that has become standard in the last few years is that trans people are, and have always been the sex they identify as. If these people are women, why do they need to “practice walking and posing like women?”

11 thoughts on “Learning how to be a woman: take less space, smile, and put on an innocent face

  1. Actually, this is just a case of obsessing over “passing” or I prefer “blending”. It shouldn’t be necessary, sure. Trans women are women, period, regardless of how we look or carry ourselves. But unfortunately, in order to be accepted as women in this heavily binary-dominant society, most of us feel the need to “blend in” with other women, and paying attention to stereotypes can help with that.

    Unfortunately there is still a lot of hate and violence against non-conforming people.

    Liked by 1 person

    • We understand that, and wish to specify that the perpetrators of this violence against transgender people are MALES. Male violence. In any case, if someone is visibly male despite wishing to be perceived as female, do you really think affecting an exaggerated “female” walk or pretending to have water baloons taped to their feet is going to help them look more female?

      Liked by 3 people

      • If how a trans woman carries herself is what outs her as trans, then yes, learning how to walk with what other people perceive as a feminine gait will help with blending.

        The water balloons taped to your pelvis thing is hella dumb, though.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Why not try walking like a human? Women are human, yes? Not some alien species with monolithic behavioral patterns. Some women have a femme gait, others clearly do not (this observation requires one go outside). Gender stereotypes are nothing but that — stereotypes. Anyone who considers stereotypes of women to be hard science is a neo con sexist. Who’s really non-conforming? Gay people.
      If someone is a real woman, why the need to pretend? Sounds like fucking cos-play.


      • What are you asking? I just said why: It’s obsession over blending. It’s not ideal, but sometimes it’s a matter of safety. And I have no idea what gay people have to do with this.


        • What am I asking? Basically, how someone can feel the need to pretend to be a woman while at the same time claiming to be an actual woman. Critical thought fail. Learning to walk like a woman isn’t an actual woman’s issue. Hiding your manly bits to appear more female isn’t a woman’s issue. Women don’t get turned on by putting their clothes on. Woman isn’t a concept in your head. All women don’t act or look like the female actors in any random dudebro’s porn collection.


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