Special Edition: Sissies, Fetishists, and Kinksters

How often in media stories about MTF trans people using public accommodations for women do we see the same basic narrative: trans people have always felt these feelings for a long time, their feelings are not sexual or fetishistic, this isn’t a way to let sick or twisted men into women’s spaces.  Indeed, for most trans people, this is undoubtedly the case, but the problem lies in saying that there are no trans-identified people intent on using women’s spaces for fetishistic purposes.

You can see the result of this thinking in media coverage the current Planet Fitness case. The “trans woman” at the center of the Planet Fitness situation, “Carlotta Sklodowska,” is a male-identified fetishist who adopted a creepy, racist pseudo-Eastern European woman accent on his Facebook and liked posting objectifying, ultra-sexualized comments on fitness photos of women. Women are portrayed as crazy harpies for daring to warn other women about someone who is a serious creep.  Even though several actual transgender people, including Zoey Tur, specifically said that this person was a fetishistic crossdresser and not trans (and therefore shouldn’t have been protected by transgender protection policies or laws), those trans people have been told to shut up by prominent activists and have had their roles as media spokespeople called into question.

But is the distinction between a trans-identifying person and a fetishist always so clear?  When women are being told worldwide that we must accept XY-chromosomed, fully fertile people with penises in our changing rooms, we need to know whether the narrative of “this isn’t sexual, I just need to pee” is really all there is to it.

We here at Transgender Reality decided to investigate.

In this post, one transgender-identified male asks how he can stop having erections every time he dresses like a woman in public.  The overwhelming response by the community?

fetishist1

Dress as a woman more, and it’ll probably get better.  So this is one thing women can expect to be dealing with in the months and years to come: men dressing as women and entering women’s spaces deliberately to “desensitize” themselves to their sexual feelings.  Is this a service women should be required to provide to men–validation of their “woman-ness” even as they stand there with their erections simply from wearing “female clothes”?  Is the accommodation of these men through their desensitization process something all women and girls should be subjected to?

For that matter, how long is the average desensitization period?  Women need to know these things, since we are now supposed to accept the “trans woman” experience as female.  If this is so normal, talk more about it, trans activists.  How many weeks, months, years will you be getting erections when you put on a bra or enter a changing room?

In case you wonder whether this is common, here are a few links to sort you out.  In each link, the comments talk about just how common this is.  No one says “this is vile, you’re not a real trans person, get out.”  So in case you had any illusions about the trans community policing its own, and making sure that only people who just feel very sad about not having the opposite sex’s body get to use opposite sex facilities, rather than allowing fetishists as well, think again.

Whether you’re too turned on by women’s pajamas to even fall asleep:

fetishist3

Or believe that all women’s vaginas are for is to be “fucked hard” on a “regular basis”:

fetishist4

Or obsessively look at women’s pelvic areas to see if you can determine what kind of underwear they’re wearing, all while feeling jealousy and resentment (bonus: this man’s wife was 3 months pregnant with their first child at the time when he wrote this!):

kink8

Or you wake up in the middle of the night to pee, see your reflection and get hard:

kink3

Note how this person acknowledges that he has a fetish, and feels like he’s being “a girl” for the wrong reasons. What  advice does he receive? That his happiness is the only thing that matters, even when he admits getting “so turned on he’s scared”:

kink4

Being constantly turned on by “wearing pretty girl clothes” is great! And apparently the purpose of pronouns is sexual gratification:

kink5

Keep doing what you’re doing, but keep your penis!

kink6

Or how about  this guy, who wonders if watching “sissy porn” made him think he was transgender:

kink7

Or how about this person, who wants to be “pinned down and raped”, “forced to suck cock”, and “get caged and turned into a sexy little fuck-cow”, and who states that his fetishes are all “directly related to me becoming a girl”.

kink1

No worries though, the commenters assure him, most women have these fantasies, it’s totally common!

kink2

These are the people women are supposed to be okay with sharing bathrooms and dressing rooms with, and if someone complains they must be a horrible transphobe. Disclaimer: nobody is saying that all, or even most, trans people are this way. But some definitely are, by their own admission. And we’re apparently not allowed to point this out, without being called TERFs, transphobic, or bigots. And women are apparently not allowed to be skeptical about sharing private spaces with people who get so turned on they’re “scared” by any kind of “female” items or settings, even by female pronouns.

52 thoughts on “Special Edition: Sissies, Fetishists, and Kinksters

    • I’m trans. My partner is trans. And we HATE idiots like these. Having them be the most vocal outposts of your demographic so as to make everyone look to them for generating stereotypes and opinions kills me inside. Why can’t they just me sane? Why are there so many disgusting MtFs and fetishists clouding things?

      God. I WISHED there was a community for trans people, that nessessitates a psychological pre-acceptance battery or IQ test or something. Or that they diagnosed being trans with just a brain scan, and treated it like any other developmental disorder.

      Liked by 1 person

    • quick question why do you feel the need to pathologize me when I don’t want the sexual urge? I feel so comfortable being a girl MOST of the time now but there are still times when I get aroused and I hate it. Why do I have to get labeled as a fuck up, a freak, a deviant, by people who have been accused of being the same? My whole life I never felt like i fit in as a guy. I thought i might be gay for a while. Turns out i’m bisexual who feels trans most of the time but still gets turned on sometimes, but i don’t want to. I just want to be comfortable in my own skin AND be accepted. Long story short, it’s really fucking confusing. I wish I could fit the neat transgender label but because i have certain feelings that i don’t want, i’m disqualified from that diagnosis. It’s not fair. I don’t want all this hate and disdain and disgust, especially for people who are just trying to figure it out. Fun fact: I’m a very sensitive person and I let this shit get to me a lot. I’ve felt alone for such a long time. And do you wanna know what made those feelings of aloneness go away a bit? Finding out that other people experience the same feelings I do just now when I found this post. Not making me feel like i’m some freak who deserves a special place in hell. I’m not an idiot, or a pervert. I’m just someone trying to figure out who i am, and I don’t understand the need to express your disgust with people like me. I don’t want to be a transvestite because I feel like I am a woman on the inside and it get’s in the way. What about that makes me disqualified from being transgender? Furthermore, why on god’s green earth, would you ever want to make someone feel like the way i feel right now? Maybe if i can understand that maybe i can move on from all of this. Please respond.

      Like

      • Dude, nobody “want[s] to make [you] feel” any particular way. The rights of women to privacy and safety aren’t about you and your feelings. Nor are our freedoms to express whatever emotions we feel when confronted with men who imitate us and co-opt us, and in doing so, degrade us.

        It’s nice that you feel like you are a woman on the inside, but you have no idea, in reality, how that feels. You feel like how you *imagine* it feels to be a woman inside. That’s all.

        With that out of the way, let me say this. I truly feel for you; I am enormously sympathetic to your confusion. Here’s a secret: every human on earth is trying to figure out who they are. We all want to feel comfortable in our own skin, and accepted. You seem to feel as though you are special in some way, or different, because of your inner confusion, but you’re not. Feeling like you don’t fit in is common, and everyone experiences it.

        But there’s no magical wand, surgical or hormonal or anything else, that will make you feel like you do fit in. There’s just not. You’re a man. You can never be a woman. Instead of trying to be something you’re not and never can be, why not focus on being comfortable with the person you actually are: a gender-nonconforming male? You want to wear pink shirts, wear pink shirts. You want to wear female underclothing, go ahead. Many gay men have been “acting feminine” for years, what’s wrong with that? You don’t need to mutilate yourself in order to express yourself. You don’t need to mutilate yourself in order to be comfortable with yourself. Just accept that you are a male, and that you can be any sort of male you want to be, and that’s okay.

        Trust me on this, as I have watched people I care about go through it (and scientific research has proven it): all the surgery in the world will not make you a different person, or a better person. You’ll be the same person, only inside a mutilated body, and once the shiny newness and novelty wears off, you’ll realize that and find yourself even more unhappy. Changing your body will not change who you are. It won’t make you suddenly comfortable. It won’t mean you’re “accepted.” It just moves the goalposts.

        Seek help, my friend. Seek help from someone who doesn’t buy into the gender delusion. You CAN be a whole and happy person just as you are. Look at some de-transitioner websites (Walt Heyer is a place to start). You’ll read about people just like you, and what they learned, and how they found peace as men.

        I wish you the best of luck. No one here hates you; we find your insistence that you know what it is to be a woman offensive, but that doesn’t mean we want you to suffer.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Im intersex and been seeing drs since i was a kid. And i always will. Im not a m2f nor do i accept in the least the tg boat.

      I dont hang with tgs because im just a regular woman…yes with a physical defect but that isnt how i walk into a room. I am str8. Im a parent. So i tend to simply hang with my gfs WHERE I BELONG and with the women i bond with naturally. In tracks not heels.

      The tgs i have met in the past do not satisfy me socially. I found too many to be men with fetishes and a narcacistic behaviour. Pretenders. Sorry but you are what you are inside and when someone is striving to be something it doesnt fly. Maybe theres other tgs that are different i dont know but i know what i know and the motivations of men do not make good bonding feelings. So although i do not see many tgs or i should say rarely at all…i personally would avoid from my experience.

      I think the tg advocates purposely hide these types or try to sell it. Its wrong. These men are sick and need help.

      My condolances though to intersex or transexual women who have been led to this umbrella and havent run yet. Took me about 3 seconds.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Gosh, that’s hard to read. Even the word ‘panties’ grosses me out. It brings even closer the viable issue of blindly accepting someone cross-dressed into a gendered space. ‘Cis’-women can be justified in worrying about those taking advantage and the fears to safety, privacy, even if the only real protection is an unlocked door. Trans-women just want to pee or go swimming or whatever. I avoid gendered spaces as often as possible as I am uncomfortable with it and don’t want others to feel comfortable, but the idea of a ‘cis’-man roaming about dressed up having the right to use a woman’s bathing or changing area is unacceptable in my eyes, I wouldn’t even want them in a gender-neutral bathroom.
    Question is, how to make these distinctions to allow everyone to use the spaces whilst retaining an amount of dignity to what should be a simple process of going to a bathroom or changing clothes.

    Like

    • How to make these distinctions? Simple. Our society needs to go back to the simple, common sense approach of using objective biological sex instead of subjective, self-reported “gender feelings” to assign toilets and changing areas. If a man (for example) feels uncomfortable changing in front of other men, he can do what shy and / or insecure women do: use the toilet stall, or shower stall with curtain, to create extra privacy. If it is really true that the gender confused really just want to go swimming, or whatever, they will be fine with this, and they will focus on the swimming, not the changing in the stall. And before anyone screams, “What about intersex?!” These are rare medical conditions and do not apply to the overwhelming majority of trans cases. Obviously the intersex should use the facilities that are closest to their presentation and / or individual toilets.

      Like

  2. “And apparently the purpose of pronouns is sexual gratification”
    I could already sense this. This was the feeling I had – straight male transgenders totally get a hard-on from being called “she”. And that is why I don’t feel like using she and her about MTFs, how transphobic of me.

    All this sickness comes from them seeing women and girls as fetish & porn objects, as naturally submissive to men. It’s anti-feminist.

    Pro tip to MTFs: When a woman wear a pyjamas it’s an ordinary thing to do while sleeping. It’s just normal clothes to us. Because to us, our ordinary practical clothes doesn’t represent the fetishized “other”.
    We’re actual people, you know.

    Liked by 4 people

  3. How is make believing that you belong in the body of the female sex as a male not a fetish? There is objectification of the female body as a something they can buy & put on, then there is the roleplaying where they pretend to fit into the fantasy of male created femininity while knowing very well they are the males reinforcing it, & then on top of dressing & acting the part they get off on forcing others to play along.

    I for one will never humor their twisted ideas of what is womanhood, because it’s not for men to define, buy, control, own, mock, get hard & get off on.

    Liked by 4 people

  4. their feelings are not sexual or fetishistic, this isn’t a way to let sick or twisted men into women’s spaces. Indeed, for most trans people, this is undoubtedly the case

    No, for most it is undoubtedly the case that they ARE fetishistic. The very concept of womanhood as something that exists for men to define and use as they please is by definition a fetishised appropriation (*)

    A man with simple BDD would simply want to lop off his cock and still call himself a man. But anything at all that involves “and therefore I’m a woman” flags up the problem here – and those men are such a majority it is near enough in practice to say it’s all of them.

    (*) Note: straight, so-called “cis”, men do this too. It’s just that their fetishisation of females is being projected onto women rather than themselves.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Uh huh. Yeah, lesbians act totally the same. They can’t help being super jealous of the women they meet and they obsessively check out every woman’s ass to see her underwear beneath. Get a clue, what you experience as an autogynephile bears no resemblance to the inner life of lesbians.

    Liked by 5 people

    • You look like a man, and think like a man, because you are a man. Just the fact that you are so entitled that you think you deserve access to female spaces is proof positive of your privileged male upbringing. You will always be a man. It is so simple. You can’t change your DNA or objective reality. You are living a lie. Our mental health system failed you, and I am so sorry for that. Apparently, you failed at being male and think of femaleness as a sort of Plan B, rather than viewing (real, actual) females as equal, living, breathing people. You have my deepest and most sincere condolences on your confusion and failures. Not acknowledging your innate maleness does not make it go away.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Wait, you’re saying fat women feel so aroused by their bodies and jealous of other women’s bodies that they can’t sleep in their clothes because they’re so turned on? Because I think not. I think you’re grasping at straws in order to make yourself feel normal. But you’re not normal, dude. You could just be a dude in a dress, but you’ve decided to embark on a lifelong reparative therapy quest so that your body will “match” the sex role stereotypes you believe you prefer. Gross.

      Liked by 2 people

    • Dude, you have a picture of yourself in your Gravatar profile. I can assure you that every single person you meet knows you are male, even if they are polite enough to play pretend to save your feelings.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Uh huh, Yeah, all MtF act totally the same. They get raging erections every time they walk into a ladies locker room to change and obsessively check out every woman’s ass to see her underwear underneath. Get a clue, what you experience as (what the hell are you anyway) bears no resemblance to the inner life of MtF transsexuals.

      So there, Im rubber your glue…blah blah blah

      I find it interesting that you not only stereotype MtF transsexuals as autogynephiles, you stereotype what it is to be a lesbian as well, in that NO lesbian could POSSIBLY think that another woman is attractive in a locker room. I’m glad you speak for ALL lesbians and know without a doubt that all autogynephiles are perverts.

      Like

      • Nothing you say changes the fact that the comments of trannies were cut and pasted directly from a tranny website. They are typical of what one sees there. And yes, mental health professionals working with trannies confirm that autogynephilia is absolutely the driving force in many of these cases. Numerous trannies are sex offenders, most are pornography aficionados, and double digit percentages of them prostitute themselves. Sorry, but facts are facts. This isn’t about rubber or glue. It is about the truth. Anyone trying to pass themselves off as something they are not (the opposite sex) is a phony who lives in their head. I support increasing access to treatment for this delusional group.

        Like

  6. Also, uh. There is a type of human being who commit rape in numbers disproportionately larger than other types of humans. What are they called again, hmmm. Oh yeah, males. Males rape females, it happens quite a lot actually. Lesbians are female.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Male to female transsexuals retain a male pattern of crime, including violent crime, after transitioning.
      http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0016885

      As for the rest of your comment, it’s mostly gibberish. Did you just copy your comments from r/gendercritical and paste them here in a wild flurry? Either way, this is not the place for that discussion. You can “feel female” all you want, but nobody is required to believe the same.

      Good day.

      Liked by 2 people

    • That bit about HRT is a complete myth spread by transgenders. Men on HRT still have fully functioning penises and, as transgenderreality said, trans women retain the same crime rates as other males, so that bit about fewer rapes, lower aggression, etc., is a lie.

      Liked by 2 people

    • No. Read the entire study, don’t just skim it. What you quoted says that only transsexuals who underwent sex reassignement prior to 1989 had INCREASED levels of violent crime compared to normal controls,

      The relevant paragraph is this:

      Second, regarding any crime, male-to-females had a significantly increased risk for crime compared to female controls (aHR 6.6; 95% CI 4.1–10.8) but not compared to males (aHR 0.8; 95% CI 0.5–1.2). This indicates that they retained a male pattern regarding criminality. The same was true regarding violent crime. By contrast, female-to-males had higher crime rates than female controls (aHR 4.1; 95% CI 2.5–6.9) but did not differ from male controls. This indicates a shift to a male pattern regarding criminality and that sex reassignment is coupled to increased crime rate in female-to-males. The same was true >regarding violent crime.

      This paragraph says that MtF transsexuals commit crimes, including violent crime, at the same rate as regular males.

      In the future, you will read any linked study thoroughly or you will refrain from commenting.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. “You know that heavy set women have the same envy towards other woman that you think trans women have.”

    I am fat and have absolutely zero “envy towards [sic] other woman [sic].” I do not envy other women, I do not compete with other women, I have never betrayed another woman.

    I have absolutely no problem sharing restrooms, locker rooms, etc, with lesbians. If I ever catch a man in a female-only space, he will deeply regret his trespass despite the fact that I am old, disabled, and FAT.

    Liked by 5 people

  8. I am told the rule in public bathrooms, for men, is to look straight ahead. I am also told that some men look sideways to compare sizes. I am not happy for anyone to look at me in a change room situation, male or female. My ex was insanely competitive because I was female and he was not, to the point of angrily saying he was more feminine than me. I have also been sexually assaulted by a man and a woman so that makes me nervous if I have to share with any gender.Having said that my ex was not going to have the op which made me think he wanted the best of both worlds. I would be most worried if the man had not had SRS.

    Like

  9. Reblogged this on Thou wouldst still be adored and commented:
    “So this is one thing women can expect to be dealing with in the months and years to come: men dressing as women and entering women’s spaces deliberately to “desensitize” themselves to their sexual feelings. Is this a service women should be required to provide to men–validation of their “woman-ness” even as they stand there with their erections simply from wearing “female clothes”? Is the accommodation of these men through their desensitization process something all women and girls should be subjected to?”

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Hello all, very interesting discussion, I am an XXY ‘male’ who struggled with gender stuff most of my life, I’m only attracted to men but wearing and imagining looking good in feminine clothing can be erotic to me. I don’t consider myself a man or a woman I’m happy being something inbetween, and I don’t care about using female bathrooms or anything, but I have a question:

    If MtF people can’t use female spaces(and there are alot of valid points to support this I have learned today), should FtM people be restricted from using male spaces?

    Liked by 1 person

  11. The answer is to encourage male trans people to take ownership of male spaces instead of demanding access to female spaces when a woman or girl has explicitly objected to allowing such access. Male homophobes and sexists are responsible for inflicting harassment, violence, ridicule, and abuse on other male people who do not conform to the expected categories of appearance and behavior for men and boys. Feminine people, including feminine men, regardless of how they look behave or identify, and regardless of their length of time in transition on hormones or surgery, should be allowed to have safe and comfortable access to male spaces without fear of ridicule, embarrassment, male chauvinism, or the threat of physical or sexual violence.

    Liked by 4 people

  12. Trouble is that we already have male, female and disabled bathrooms so that would require another bathroom for transgender who have not had the op. Some can’t afford the op though so …..

    Like

    • If they can’t afford it, they can’t get it. That is how life works. There are plenty of things I would like that I can’t afford and no one is crying for me.

      Like

  13. ” Studies show that the criminality level of MTF individuals is the same as for males in general. You are incorrect about estrogen being a magic “make you docile” hormone. Incorrect … and sexist.”’

    Oh my heavens! I found that my partner became more demanding on HRT, more liable to psychical tantrums and more sexually competitive. In fact he bought a full length mirror and wanted more of everything. Magic it ain’t. Sheesh! Who made that one up?

    Liked by 1 person

  14. So, its mainly men picking on men who are MTF ? Do men have to be clones of each other to be safe? Do men want the same rights as women in regard to single gender bathrooms?

    Like

  15. ” Studies show that the criminality level of MTF individuals is the same as for males in general. You are incorrect about estrogen being a magic “make you docile” hormone. Incorrect … and sexist.”’

    Oh my heavens! I found that my partner became more demanding on HRT, more liable to psychical tantrums and more sexually competitive. In fact he bought a full length mirror and wanted more of everything. Magic it ain’t. Sheesh! Who made that one up?

    Is it more men who abuse MTF & FTM people in their public bathrooms or is it women? If men do it predominately then isn’t that saying something about their need to be in control and their anger that they have to attack both women and other men. That ability to attack is why I have to park in lighted spaces, always have my keys ready, think twice before I agree to a date,what to wear and never walk home alone. Just a thought.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Actually they do. People born male who decide they are trans commit crimes against women at identical rates as people born male who live as males. Wake up!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Transpeople transcend the misogyny and sexism of the past. These folks speak, act, and react with an absolute loathing for women. And, I believe this loathing is a projection of their own internal disgust with their own mental illnesses.

    I wonder how many women and children will have to be harmed, raped, and traumatized before the insanity is stopped.

    Like

  18. OK, let’s see you are a female lesbian. You go into a women’s locker room and see a really attractive woman. What do you do?

    You change your clothes, put on your workout gear, and go workout. End of Story. Or maybe there are some lesbians that secretly are admiring the other women in the locker room. Who knows?

    Everyone has fetishes, desires, attractions, kinks, etc. But NORMAL people control them in public spaces.
    I think the argument against MtF autogynephiliacs and fetishists is that the very thing that turns them on IS normal behaviors like going into locker room and being a woman and changing. But how do you know if they are just acting like normal women or getting turned on by it? I think a lesbian could be more stealth about it than a Mtf with a penis. If He/She was getting aroused, you could tell.

    I think if ALL of everyone’s thoughts were exposed while changing in a locker room we might want to have separate stalls for EVERYONE, because no one has pure thoughts 100% of the time.

    Like

  19. OK, let’s see you are a female lesbian. You go into a women’s locker room and see a really attractive woman. What do you do?

    You change your clothes, put on your workout gear, and go workout. End of Story. Or maybe there are some lesbians that secretly are admiring the other women in the locker room. Who knows?

    Everyone has fetishes, desires, attractions, kinks, etc. But NORMAL people control them in public spaces.
    I think the argument against MtF autogynephiliacs and fetishists is that the very thing that turns them on IS normal behaviors like going into locker room and being a woman and changing. But how do you know if they are just acting like normal women or getting turned on by it? I think a lesbian could be more stealth about it than a Mtf with a penis. If He/She was getting aroused, you could tell.

    I think if ALL of everyone’s thoughts were exposed while changing in a locker room we might want to have separate stalls for EVERYONE, because no one has pure thoughts 100% of the time

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s