How often in media stories about MTF trans people using public accommodations for women do we see the same basic narrative: trans people have always felt these feelings for a long time, their feelings are not sexual or fetishistic, this isn’t a way to let sick or twisted men into women’s spaces. Indeed, for most trans people, this is undoubtedly the case, but the problem lies in saying that there are no trans-identified people intent on using women’s spaces for fetishistic purposes.
You can see the result of this thinking in media coverage the current Planet Fitness case. The “trans woman” at the center of the Planet Fitness situation, “Carlotta Sklodowska,” is a male-identified fetishist who adopted a creepy, racist pseudo-Eastern European woman accent on his Facebook and liked posting objectifying, ultra-sexualized comments on fitness photos of women. Women are portrayed as crazy harpies for daring to warn other women about someone who is a serious creep. Even though several actual transgender people, including Zoey Tur, specifically said that this person was a fetishistic crossdresser and not trans (and therefore shouldn’t have been protected by transgender protection policies or laws), those trans people have been told to shut up by prominent activists and have had their roles as media spokespeople called into question.
But is the distinction between a trans-identifying person and a fetishist always so clear? When women are being told worldwide that we must accept XY-chromosomed, fully fertile people with penises in our changing rooms, we need to know whether the narrative of “this isn’t sexual, I just need to pee” is really all there is to it.
We here at Transgender Reality decided to investigate.
In this post, one transgender-identified male asks how he can stop having erections every time he dresses like a woman in public. The overwhelming response by the community?
Dress as a woman more, and it’ll probably get better. So this is one thing women can expect to be dealing with in the months and years to come: men dressing as women and entering women’s spaces deliberately to “desensitize” themselves to their sexual feelings. Is this a service women should be required to provide to men–validation of their “woman-ness” even as they stand there with their erections simply from wearing “female clothes”? Is the accommodation of these men through their desensitization process something all women and girls should be subjected to?
For that matter, how long is the average desensitization period? Women need to know these things, since we are now supposed to accept the “trans woman” experience as female. If this is so normal, talk more about it, trans activists. How many weeks, months, years will you be getting erections when you put on a bra or enter a changing room?
In case you wonder whether this is common, here are a few links to sort you out. In each link, the comments talk about just how common this is. No one says “this is vile, you’re not a real trans person, get out.” So in case you had any illusions about the trans community policing its own, and making sure that only people who just feel very sad about not having the opposite sex’s body get to use opposite sex facilities, rather than allowing fetishists as well, think again.
Whether you’re too turned on by women’s pajamas to even fall asleep:
Or believe that all women’s vaginas are for is to be “fucked hard” on a “regular basis”:
Or obsessively look at women’s pelvic areas to see if you can determine what kind of underwear they’re wearing, all while feeling jealousy and resentment (bonus: this man’s wife was 3 months pregnant with their first child at the time when he wrote this!):
Note how this person acknowledges that he has a fetish, and feels like he’s being “a girl” for the wrong reasons. What advice does he receive? That his happiness is the only thing that matters, even when he admits getting “so turned on he’s scared”:
Being constantly turned on by “wearing pretty girl clothes” is great! And apparently the purpose of pronouns is sexual gratification:
Keep doing what you’re doing, but keep your penis!
Or how about this person, who wants to be “pinned down and raped”, “forced to suck cock”, and “get caged and turned into a sexy little fuck-cow”, and who states that his fetishes are all “directly related to me becoming a girl”.
No worries though, the commenters assure him, most women have these fantasies, it’s totally common!
These are the people women are supposed to be okay with sharing bathrooms and dressing rooms with, and if someone complains they must be a horrible transphobe. Disclaimer: nobody is saying that all, or even most, trans people are this way. But some definitely are, by their own admission. And we’re apparently not allowed to point this out, without being called TERFs, transphobic, or bigots. And women are apparently not allowed to be skeptical about sharing private spaces with people who get so turned on they’re “scared” by any kind of “female” items or settings, even by female pronouns.