Online transgender groups are quick to assure people that there is absolutely nothing sexual about being trans. Gender identity and sexuality are completely separate, the narrative usually goes.
“Is it normal to get erect when doing girly things?” asks a poster in r/asktransgender.
“Oh, yeah, totally normal”.
Don’t worry, OP, that’s normal!
“I get erections when I wear female clothing, oh and I want to use my penis to penetrate my girlfriend”
This poster worries that he has a fetish, but the commenters are quick to shoot this down. There is no such thing as “autogynephilia” (a sexual fetish for seeing oneself as a woman), they say. In fact, it’s normal for women to get turned on from sexy clothes!
If you read around in places like r/asktransgender, you will see that people there are very quick to shot down the idea that there is any sexual element to wanting to transition from male to female. What you will also see, however, is a lot of posts from people coming into the sub, talking about having sexual feelings about seeing themselves as women, and worrying that their desire to transition is not rooted in some deep-seated identity, but in sexual motives.
It is also interesting to notice that almost all of these stories of sexual arousal when “cross-dressing” come from males. Where are the females feeling aroused by wearing pants and binding their chests?