“Is it normal to get erect when doing girly things?” Sexual fetishism in the trans community

Online transgender groups are quick to assure people that there is absolutely nothing sexual about being trans. Gender identity and sexuality are completely separate, the narrative usually goes.

Is it normal to get erect when doing girly things?” asks a poster in r/asktransgender.


“Oh, yeah, totally normal”.


Does anyone else get erect when passing as a girl?”


Don’t worry, OP, that’s normal!



I get erections when I wear female clothing, oh and I want to use my penis to penetrate my girlfriend”


This poster worries that he has a fetish, but the commenters are quick to shoot this down. There is no such thing as “autogynephilia” (a sexual fetish for seeing oneself as a woman), they say. In fact, it’s normal for women to get turned on from sexy clothes!

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If you read around in places like r/asktransgender, you will see that people there are very quick to shot down the idea that there is any sexual element to wanting to transition from male to female. What you will also see, however, is a lot of posts from people coming into the sub, talking about having sexual feelings about seeing themselves as women, and worrying that their desire to transition is not rooted in some deep-seated identity, but in sexual motives.

It turns me on to wear female clothes and imagine myself as a girl


Is it possible to tuck without getting aroused?”


Feeling constantly aroused when wearing female clothes:


“My second most worry is what role porn plays in all of this.”


It is also interesting to notice that almost all of these stories of sexual arousal when “cross-dressing” come from males. Where are the females feeling aroused by wearing pants and binding their chests?

6 thoughts on ““Is it normal to get erect when doing girly things?” Sexual fetishism in the trans community

  1. A lot of these people probably hear women saying they “feel sexy” in some certain clothing and think that means those women are somehow aroused by their clothes, when it couldn’t be further from the truth.

    Feeling good in clothes is about feeling that you look good and you’re on your mark and have confidence and power. Your image in the mirror, filtered through your current mood (as always) is matching up with some ideal you have of your self, your self-image, someone you think looks cool. You look how you want to look.

    But it’s not about wanting to have sex with your own image in the mirror or getting sexually aroused by the feel of your underwear.

    Liked by 5 people

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