“From a young age, I knew I would rather be wearing dresses like my sister, and would rather have long hair like a girl”

A 15 year old kid posts to r/asktransgender. He wants to wear beautiful dresses, and feels confused. dress1

Does anyone say “boys can wear dresses”? No. The first commenter explains how he knew he was trans: He wanted to “be wearing dresses like my sister”: dress2

The online transgender community is saturated with extreme stereotypes of what it  means to be male or female. It is no wonder that young people who feel that they do not fit into the stereotypes for their sex become confused. Look at this thread about “being girly”: “boys clothes, makeup, fashion, being cute soft and bubbly”:

dress3

This commenter feels like there is an “internal feeling of femininity”, that is caused by “looking pretty”.

dress4

This commenter, who is FtM, lists a bunch of sexist stereotypes, and adds “little wonder that I didn’t enjoy being a woman”.  Why is taking testosterone and calling yourself a man the solution to this problem? Where is the “free to be you and me” style feminism in the lives of these people?

dress5

This commenter in a different post talks about the length of his nails as a significant part of his feelings of being a woman:

feminine

Another commenter thinks longing to go into clothing and shoe stores at the mall makes him a woman:

feminine2

This is what trans people come up with when trying to describe their feelings of being women. 1950s style outrageous stereotypes. It’s not even remotely progressive, it’s not “smashing the binary”, it’s not liberation. It’s a prison, where you have to “fix” your body to match your mind, instead of being free to like whatever you like and wear whatever you want to wear.

4 thoughts on ““From a young age, I knew I would rather be wearing dresses like my sister, and would rather have long hair like a girl”

  1. I have a very young little boy in our family, that wants to b a girl, wear dresses, b a princess. He makes clothes out of all kinds of stuff for his dolls. I am starting to get worried about him. I will love him no matter what he wants to b in life

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      • Totally. The world needs more men comfortable with being gender nonconforming, and not just in a trendy hipster way. It needs role models. What irks me is that so many trans people boast about not believing in a gender binary and then conform to it rather than breaking it apart. This blog is so refreshing to read. A transwoman reacted the other day at my not wanting to transition saying with disgust “you’ll be a man in a dress?!” and I thought it so sad. That’s obviously a reflection of how she sees part of her trans experience; something shes running away from. Now I’m no perfect human – I’m riddled with insecurities like anyone else but I’d imagine the first step to anything is to accept yourself as you are and be ok with that. Ramble ramble ramble. This comment sounded more succinct in my head.

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