“I feel like it takes me effort to act ‘masculine’. Am I transgender?”

Is it even possible to come to communities like r/asktransgender as a questioning person and be told that you are in fact, not transgender? Let us take a look at this post:

I feel like I’ve always wanted to be a woman for a very very long time. I always felt different from other people, and I didn’t feel necessarily “masculine” or anything like that. Didn’t understand the whole macho thing growing up either, wasn’t very sporty.

I watched a shitton of porn from an early age growing up, so I’m not sure if this fucked me up or just exacerbated everything, but I could always remember wanting to be a woman. I’m highly attracted to women – I LOVE them… they are so beautiful. And I was so envious. I would imagine things like “if I were a woman, I would do x, y and z” etc… I would try on some of my mom’s underwear and liked it. I still have the desire to do that.

I look at women and I love them so much. But I always feel this jealousy, like they are just the ideal “kind of human” to be. If you could be anyone, you should want to be a woman. I love how they look, how they are, and I feel like I just want to act feminine so badly. I want to wear makeup. I want to make myself look pretty and wear girl’s clothes. I want to feel sexy. All these things. Maybe that isn’t representative of the ENTIRETY of being a woman, but it’s how I feel.

Might come off as an asshole here, and I don’t mean to offend anyone, but I’m just trying to get my feelings out: I feel like guys are losers. I don’t like guys. They are gross, they aren’t beautiful or attractive; I don’t understand the preoccupation of being macho or something (I know not all guys are like this, but I’m just trying to explain that I don’t understand how your “typical guy” acts and why they do that). I feel like it takes me effort to act “masculine”. I’ve gotten kinda good at it, but lately all these thoughts about being a woman and being transgender have been popping into my head. I fear I’m really suppressing this stuff and that scares me.

Post is long enough, I guess I’m done for now. Does anyone have any thoughts? Am I transgender? Do I just want to be a woman, but I don’t have actual dysphoria or anything like that? I’m not sure if I FEEL like I’m a woman, but I feel like I want to BE one, or I’d love to become one. Is that the same thing as being transgender? I feel a bit better talking about this, but it still freaks me out. Please help.

Feeling “different”, not being interested in acting stereotypically masculine, not liking sports, wanting to be beautiful and sexy. Admits to watching a lot of porn and feels unsure how this has affected him. Note that he says that he doesn’t have dysphoria about his body, he just wants to be what he imagines women to be (sexy, beautiful etc).

The comments?

“We can’t tell you what to do, but you’re totally trans”


“One of us, one of us!”



A single voice of dissent, urging the poster to reflect on what it is about women that makes him feel the way he does, and learning to love himself. And it’s downvoted:


Learning to be happy with yourself the way you are is so old-fashioned, this is 2015, where in order to be “yourself” you need medical procedures!

4 thoughts on ““I feel like it takes me effort to act ‘masculine’. Am I transgender?”

  1. Honestly I am increasingly tempted to make a few throwaway reddit usernames and try out the most ludicrously tenuous “am I trans?” stories I can think of on this subreddit, just to see what would happen…

    Liked by 4 people

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