“I just feel that my outlook, interests and desires would be more accepted in a girl than a boy”

What does it mean when trans people talk about “identifying” as or with a gender? Since it supposedly doesn’t have to do with stereotypes or gender roles, but with identity, is it possible to pin down the nature of this identity?

What aspect of the gender you weren’t assigned at birth do you specifically identify with?, a poster asks. Here is one of the replies:

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Why this person could not wear women’s fashion and be cute as a guy is not elaborated on.

Here is another reply:

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Having long hair and shaving your body hair is apparently a sign that you are female, as well as spending time on “cosmetic skin care”.  The same commenter continues:

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This is sad. A male who wants to groom in ways more typically associated with women, has been convinced that this means they are transgender and needs to pursue medical treatments. In another time this person might have been happy with being a long-haired, smoothly shaven guy with great skin.

“I want to be the one in the relationship who makes all the money”, says a commenter calling themselves “agender girly boy”, but admits that this is a stereotype of what males are. But hang on! “Most stereotypes are based in reality” another commenter points out. Charming.

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In a post titled question on changing my personality (mtf), the OP worries that their personality is not feminine enough, and wants advice on how to change it. Who knows what is meant by this, but it probably does not mean assertive or dominating.

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The idea that woman = weak is seen again in this post, named “imagery of being turned into something weaker“:

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Several commenters point out that females aren’t necessarily submissive and weak, which prompts the OP to elaborate:

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So it turns out that the real reason for this poster’s desire to be a woman is a desire to  be sexually submissive. And this story isn’t unique either.

Yet another poster is struggling: pretty confused right now please help

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So this poster is sexually submissive and wants to “be a girl and fulfill that role in the eyes of the public norm”. And the most telling point: “I just feel that my outlook, interests and desires would be more accepted in a girl than a boy”. It doesn’t get much clearer than this: this guy wants to change his body to “match” his personality. 

This is not progressive. This is just another way of reinforcing gender roles. It used to be (and still is, for many) that people were told to behave in a manner that was expected of their sex. Now people are trying to change their bodies to match their personalities instead. Why can’t we do neither?

5 thoughts on ““I just feel that my outlook, interests and desires would be more accepted in a girl than a boy”

  1. Young men’s view of females= a thing that weakens into submission[or at least expected to when the male need for sex rolls around]. Young males think that sex will come easier if they are fem, but only old men in their 40-70s desire lady-boys.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Those of us who simply suck it up and deal with social disapproval of our “gender expression” are expected to praise these people for the “bravery” of their capitulation. Reversal upon reversal.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. ““I want to be the one in the relationship who makes all the money”, says a commenter calling themselves “agender girly boy”, but admits that this is a stereotype of what males are. But hang on! “Most stereotypes are based in reality” another commenter points out. Charming.”

    She is right, in a way. Men do make more money than women – there is a pay gap. That is reality. However, it need not be reality. But she obviously thinks becoming a man is easier than changing society. (Which is probably correct, sadly.)

    I would like to see a world wide protest of women – going to their employers and demanding more pay as to ease their gender dysphoria. “I just can’t identify with earning less money for the same work.That is not who I really am! ” (Sadly, most of the pay gap is due to women working part time and so on, and I suppose no one will want to leave her children behind in order to live the wealthy, carefree life that is in accordance with who she really is. Maybe we should try and get health services to pay for free 24/7 childcare?)

    Liked by 1 person

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