“I would not be sad to see his male body go away”

A parent posts to r/asktransgender for advice regarding her young son. The son is four years old.

My 4 year old son has for awhile been saying he’s a girl. We have corrected him, just thinking he’s confused (he learned to speak late) but lately he’s been saying he wants to grow up and be a princess, and be pretty like mommy, he’s even said he would wear dresses, he loves to play apps on his tablet that involve makeup and hair styling, he likes to show us his “boobs”…

Please note.. I have stopped correcting him. Because of our enlightenment on this issue and the education that’s available, I understand the possibility for all my children to question everything about their identity, and I just want them to be who they are so they can do what they are supposed to do in this world.

My question is: is it too early for him to intrinsically know he is a girl? Not in the sexual sense, of course he’s not a sexual being yet, but in terms of gender? And if he could already know, how do I protect him yet nurture him?

What is a parent to make of this behavior? Well, how about asking the kid why he would like to be a girl? Is it because he thinks only girls can be pretty and wear dresses? Kids very often have this naive view of the world. She does not seem to have asked him this, and the suggestion to do so does not come up. However, the commenters advise her to let the kid wear whatever clothes he wants, which is very good advice. Just let him do his thing, several commenters say, he has years ahead of him to figure things out. For most kids, insisting they are the other sex is a phase, and the majority grow out of it and come to be comfortable with their bodies. And for a concerned parent, that should be great news, right? After all, the medical treatments for transgender people are nothing to take lightly; they can have serious side effects.

This mom however, seems very eager to have a transgender child, and she seems very sure that he really is fundamentally different from his brothers:


Many little boys who are effeminate in childhood end up being gay men as adults. That is apparently not an option this mom has considered.

She mentions several times how she dreamed that he was a girl when she was pregnant with him.




I wouldn’t be sad to see his male body go away“. That is a deeply disturbing statement, and no one calls her out on it.

She talks about wanting to make “transgender art”.


She even has a media strategy ready:


The commenters praise her for being such an understanding and good parent, and the media thing is brought up again:


Just a month later, the mom posts an update. Note that both posts are to r/asktransgender. She does not ask for advice on any of reddit’s parenting forums. If she did, she might have found support in other parents of children who do not conform to gender roles, and she might realize that this type of behavior is actually pretty common with young kids.

The reddit community was so helpful to me. I thought I should update our story, and frankly I need support…

My son has been quoted as saying “the words that come out of my mouth talk about fire trucks. But I really want long hair with big pink bows in it”

He was previously ok with getting his hair cut. We took him yesterday to get a haircut and he begged the stylist to make him look like mommy.

My MIL took him shoe shopping. He requested in the car on the way there he wanted “dancing shoes”. At kohls he picked out (to everyone’s horror) a pair of pink shoes studded with jewels. (I was not present so he did not get the shoes)

He’s asked me not to cut his hair off ever again.

I’m ok with all of it. Excited to help him. He said he wants be called a girl.

Why does the kid seem to think there is something wrong with talking about fire trucks AND having long hair? The incident with the shoes is a clue here. He’s being told that he can’t have pink “dancing shoes”, presumably because he’s a boy. This is unfortunately very typical, adults enforcing rigid gender roles on their children. Of COURSE boys should be able to wear pink dancing shoes. It seems to us that what this mom needs is people who support her and her son in saying “no” to gender roles and assuring him that it’s okay to be different.

Again she seems to have already made up her mind about the kid. “I just know something is different”.


Again she brings up dreaming that her son was a girl:


Commenters are again falling over themselves to tell her what a great parent she is. Some of the commenters recommend books and blogs, all of them are about specifically transgender children. No one posts links to books or blogs about gay children or non-transgender children who do not conform to gender roles. We are witnessing the “funnel effect” again in the online transgender community. Most children who act like this kid grow up to be adults at peace with their bodies. Some do not, but this mom is seeking out only the stories of those kids. And again, it is striking just how much she seems to want her child to be transgender. “I would not be sad to see his male body go away”, she says. Would she trade a kid with a healthy male body for a child who gives up their fertility and risks serious side effects from puberty blockers and hormone treatments?

14 thoughts on ““I would not be sad to see his male body go away”

  1. It’s so sad to know that the mother is celebrated. Letting the boy wear dresses and be himself isn’t even AN OPTION anymore!

    No he HAS to be a girl. This will not end well for the childs body and health.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I think this is a guy[M 2 T] that has never been a parent- pretending to be a ditzy MILF ‘mom’ to rally other young people. This might be a transactivist, a teen angry at mommy, or MRA troll. This person is so shallow, it is an M2T- or a bad act by an MRA.

    So this person also claims to be 36 years old, and has had a 20 year drug addiction. since 16? So the kids are born drug-addicted?

    Claims to have been homeless for three years[bragging they has street credit-and this is important to whom? Women don’t get street credit- or brag about it, unless they are still stuck in a bad situation and have adapted a Stockholm syndrome response; an example is drug addicted prostitutes that support an expensive drug habit and defend supporting a drug addiction as a choice. ]

    Claims- As a woman with a mental illness, can tell tg is not a mental illness.
    [Someone who hates bio-women so much- he has to make women seem stupid/trashy, even ones supporting his views?]

    pedo alert, women don’t show their children their sex organs.

    a ‘woman’ that refers to herself as ‘cunty’ and ignorant, and thanks clueless, uneducated 20 yearolds for teaching her history in the next paragraph down.

    Said the oldest kid was 19, [this person says they are 36- now] and…so.. at 15, was pregnant barefoot and homeless?[on drugs too] Where is child services? A drug addicted pregnant woman?

    and 2nd pedo alert; this person may be using this as a ruse to get in contact with insecure, Munchhausen by proxy mothers, or it is a trans activist promoting 4 year old children as targets. Are we to believe a ‘MOM’ wants her 4 year old to interact with other children in a sexual discussion- while ‘she’ doesn’t participate? Or is this a grooming ruse by men that want alone time with children?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Even if some parts of the story are true, I think this person is a “trans-plant” whose job is to create a persona with a “transnarrative” to bolster sympathy, frequency, and give validation to HRT, SRS, and trans in general.

    …as for the the pedo alerts.

    They will defend this pedophilic tendancy in trans culture by relying on “born that way”. No surprise that there is also a movement to garner sympathy and support for pedophiles. Now known as “pedosexuals” because…we need to accept that males (overwhelmingly) are just going to rape children. Accept it!

    Everyone has their side of the story to tell. When trans kids grow up, they will talk about what was really going on in their lives, especially in their homes. However society percieves them, what they DO with their lives will be evident. Measurable. Demonstrable.

    Because no matter what people say, the truth always tells itself.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. “pedo alert, women don’t show their children their sex organs”

    They don’t show them, but my mother never felt the need to put on clothes when walking to the bathroom with only her husband and children present. Not that there was much to see, but as women nowadays shave down there, a boy would likely notice that he doesn’t look like mommy.

    The mentions of dreams that he was a girl make me suspect that he picked up on her wish to have a girl and behaved accordingly. If she is real, that is. I agree that there are other things that are highly suspicious.


  5. When I read your sentence ending “it’s OK to be different” or something similar, I immediately remembered the kid’s book Ferdinand the Bull. 😊 Ferdinand the Bull refused to fight in the bullfights. He preferred to just sit and eat flowers.


    • Aww I remember watching Ferdinand the Bull cartoon as a kid. Thanks for the memory. 🙂

      For those unfamiliar, Ferdinand is a bull who does not “act like” the other bulls. He refuses to fight the matador during a bullfight, instead sitting there just sniffing some flowers. The matador is extremely distraught, crying and sobbing and pulling his hair out, because Ferdinand will not behave as he wants him to, but eventually gives up and Ferdinand is retired to the field where he can be himself. The cartoon ends with the following:

      “And for all I know, he is sitting there still, under his favorite cork tree, smelling the flowers, just quietly. He is *very* happy.”

      Transkid-parents could take a note.


  6. If this a real parent, I feel so sorry for that child. It sounds like shes pushing this on him, and that IS child abuse. It kind of reminds me of Jazz. Her Mom jumped on the TransWagon super quick. When I watch her on her show once, I could tell she seamed very reluctant about everything.


  7. […] Für Eltern haben sie entsprechende Ratgeber-Literatur parat, wie sie “Trans-Kinder” erkennen können und wie sie mit ihnen umgehen sollen; für Kinder gibt es entsprechende Bilderbücher ([1],[2]). Staatlich geförderte LGTBQ-Aktivisten verbreiten diese Sicht in Kindergärten und Schulen ([3],[4]). Verwirrte ältere Kinder und Jugendliche können sich auf sozialen Plattformen wie reddit und facebook an die Trans-Community wenden. Dort wartet die Trans-Community sehnsüchtig auf sie, um sie zu unterstützen. Es muss schnell gehen, das bösen Testosteron hinterlässt sonst seine Spuren; für Zweifel und kritisches Nachfragen ist keine Zeit ([5],[6]). Bei jüngeren Kindern können sich die Eltern stellvertretend an die Trans-Community wenden. […]


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