Remember when people talked about sex and gender being different, and that you could be male but identify as a woman, for example? Well, this is now outdated, apparently.
While it is true that gender and sex are different things, and that gender is indeed a social construct, sex isn’t the Ultimate Biological Reality that transphobes make it out to be. There’s nothing intrinsically male about XY chromosomes, testosterone, body hair, muscle mass or penises. If an alien civilization found earth, they wouldn’t look at a person with a penis and say “Oh, that must be a male, sex based on genitalia is the One Universal Constant.” Sex, like gender, is indeed socially constructed and can be changed.
What is the consequence of this view? Well, being homosexual no longer has any meaning, for one, as seen by the screenshots below:
In a community on reddit for lesbians, a poster reminds everyone that penises can be “girly”:
“I don’t have a dick, a cock. What I have is soft, delicate, and pretty, It’s as sensitive as a cis woman’s clit. It’s a girl’s dick. [I]f you are on teh fence, if you don’t know if you could, I can show you it’s like nothing you’ve ever experienced,” this person writes.
Below are more examples of transactivists being enraged that some people have preferences that do not include them:
Comedian Avery Edison writes at length about how it is hurtful when lesbians don’t want penis inside them:
Look, it’s not like I require the women I date to be cool with having my dick inside them. In fact, I’m fine if that never happens. But being shut off from the very idea of it, not even considering that having my penis inside you is different from having a man’s penis inside you? That hurts. It’s such tiny slight that I wish I could get over it, and not let it fester into something I feel the need to write an essay about, but apparently I can’t.
I’m going to take a not-too-far leap and assume you’re talking about being attracted, or not attracted, to certain genitalia. If so, examine your thought processes. When you see someone presenting feminine, does your mind immediately jump to what genitals they have before you consider whether or not you find them attractive? Or do you simply presume, based on other physical characteristics (what might be termed ‘secondary sex characteristics’)? If the latter, that’s a cissexist presumption. Sure, we all do it. But we need to make sure we think twice.
Also: I’m sure you personally aren’t violently transmisogynistic, but the same things that lead you to ask these questions are the things that lead to trans women’s deaths. This sexuality related disgust is shared by men who treat trans women (especially trans women of colour) as sex objects. This disgust is by far the most common cause of their brutal murders.
In this thread, a woman is agonizing because she doesn’t like penises, but at the same time she doesn’t want to be a bigot:
I often say things like “thank god I’m a lesbian, no unplanned babies for me” and I’m occasionally reminded that some girls are able to get other girls pregnant. I’m usually taken back and ashamed that I said what ever I did. That being said, I would never date a person with a penis, regardless of gender. I don’t think of trans women with penises as less of a woman, I just…. can’t.
This is one of the replies:
In another thread, the commenter below expresses the sentiment that “lezzies” are “fucked up”, presumably for not being in a relationship with him:
“The cotton ceiling” is a term used by transactivists to describe the difficulties transpeople have with getting people to be in sexual relationships with them.
a term porn actress Drew DeVaux and other queer trans women are using to challenge cis lesbians’ tendency to support trans causes generally but draw the line at sleeping with trans women or including trans lesbians in their sexual communities.
The term cotton ceiling is a reference to the “glass ceiling” that second wave feminist identified in the workforce, wherein women could only advance so high in the workforce but could not break through into positions of power and authority. The cotton represents underwear, signifying sex.
More examples of cotton ceiling can be found here: http://terfisaslur.com/cotton-ceiling/