I wasn’t like other girls. I liked pokemon, I liked Dragonball Z

A young person talks about discovering their true nature as a boy:

Transcription, from 0:11 to 5:40

Today I’m going to be talking about how I knew I was trans. Probably back in the 3rd grade when I started realizing that I wasn’t like other girls. I just loved Pokemon, I loved Dragonball Z, I loved…I didn’t really like Dragonball Z. I liked the…Bayblades, I liked, you know, things like that. Things that you don’t find in the girl’s section of the toy store. Of course I didn’t know I was trans at that time, I just knew that I…didn’t like doing what other girls liked doing. I hated makeup. I hated pink. I hated dresses. I literally cried at my 8th grade graduation cause my mom forced me to wear a dress. I cried. Like full-blown, tears crying tantrum, I cried. Like, cried. There are several instances in my life that I’m looking back at now and actually cracking up about because it was so blatantly obvious, and no one in my family, no one at all really, knew what transgender was, so obviously no one could really put a term to it.

Liking Pokemon and Beyblades are now signs that a person born female is not really a female after all. Likewise hating pink and makeup. Notice how this young woman was policed into gender roles by her mother, forcing her to wear a dress to her graduation.

The video has many comments, including this comment by a 12 year old child:

im a girl who likes to wear guy clothes
12 year old doesn’t like being a girl, wants to wear loose pants

My problem is I’m a girl but I don’t like it at all, I like to wear guy clothes like collar shirts or loose pants or the guys hip pants were there really loose. I can’t tell my family because they will think it just a fase or I’m just a tomboy. As of like you said, I don’t like to be indemnified as a girl, I want to known as a guy but I’m scared to talk to m ups rents about it cause I’m only 12 but Im really smart and I’m like an 15 year old. I don’t know what to do after and if I tell my parents about it, like will they take me to a doctor or something? Do I get surgery to get rid of chest? How did it work for you? Do u still have a female body or no? Please let me know as soon as possible, thanks: [redacted]

 

Wanting to wear collar shirts and loose pants: reason to have surgery to remove your chest.

Another comment by a 15 year old male:

always looking out for barbie doll commersials
“always looking our for barbie doll commercials”

Yet another comment:

girls gift boxes
“I was jealous of the stuff in the boys gift boxes”

In a world where toys are more divided by gender now than they were 50 years ago, and where it’s easy to find popular videos on YouTube of kids claiming to know they are “really” the opposite sex because they enjoy things meant for the opposite sex, is it really strange that “gender clinics” are seeing a massive rise in referrals?

Like the male child in this article, whose parents took him to multiple psychologists and therapists because he liked “girly” things:

Tru preferred playing with dolls rather than trucks and cars. There was a lot of role playing in female characters, dressing up as a fairy and pretending to have long hair.

Michelle and husband Garfield spoke to the preschool teacher about Tru’s behavior and were told at such a young age it’s not a flag for anything; kids are just curious and try things out.

“And then it progressed and kept getting stronger and stronger, and every chance she had to dress up she was wearing a dress and fairy wings,” says Michelle. “As soon as I got home, I would put on my favourite fairy wings, my favourite sparkly dress, my favourite wig,” Tru says.

(…)

“It’s acceptable for girls to be tomboys,” says Michelle. “Who wouldn’t want to be masculine and tough? But for boys to persist in [feminine] behavior, it usually is an indicator of something more.”

 

Or how about these siblings, who liked activities not stereotypically associated with their sex:

Beth and her husband Russ — who moved to Cincinnati when kids Russie and Aly were tiny — noticed their children were different from a young age.

At five, Russie liked to play dressing up with girls and Aly, three years younger, preferred to kick a football with the boys.

Or this individual, who felt like he needed “butt pads” to live as his “real me”:

When I was a child I played with Barbie dolls and all my friends were girls. I had an automatic bond with everything feminine and beautiful. We had a gorgeous long hallway and every chance I got I would take a few steps, kneel, and pull down my pants. One day when I was five, my mother noticed this and asked, “Why would you do that?” I couldn’t explain it and I was scared, knowing she was angry, so I kept quiet. “Never do that again,” she told me, and I never did. Later I realized that although I was doing it completely wrong, I was imitating a woman I had seen in a movie, curtsying down that hall.

For Halloween when I was 9, my sister dressed me up in an ugly green gown and grey wig. I felt like a beauty queen, walking up and down the street waving at every car that drove by. My mother couldn’t get me in the house, until she finally had enough. That day was the happiest day of my life until I was 22.

It was then I realized I couldn’t live the life others wanted me to live, and slowly begin transitioning. I threw away my boy clothes and gradually accumulated everything that I needed to feel like myself: nails, wigs, makeup, clothing, and even butt pads. I was living two lives, male by day, woman by night.

 

However, many transgender activists are quick to assure everyone that being trans has nothing at all to do with stereotypes.

its not about stereotypes gosh
“Gender stereotypes have nothing to do with gender”

It has nothing to do with stereotypes, which is why there are multiple threads in reddit’s r/asktransgender where people list characteristics that make them realize in retrospect that they are trans (archive), such as:

my brain is femme
“I’m horrible at mathematics – typically femme”
afraid of spiders
“I was always afraid of spiders”
stuffed animals
“I liked singing and dancing”
long hair
“I asked my mother to let me grow my hair long”
nail polish makes you trans MOM
“I loved to wear nail polish”

Visit the linked post for more examples. Being transgender is not about gender stereotypes, except when it is. Which is often.

 

 

18 thoughts on “I wasn’t like other girls. I liked pokemon, I liked Dragonball Z

  1. I’m so glad I grew up in an era when my parents were able to raise me and my little brother as people, not a series of stereotypes erroneously based on biological sex and the dominant culture! Whatever happened to just realizing you’re gender-atypical or gender-nonconforming instead of loading yourself up with hormones and undergoing mulitple surgeries to try to become the opposite sex? I’ve always liked being an example of gender-nonconformity and showing younger girls it’s okay to not like pink, prefer the company of men to women, and like so-called “boy toys.” The really sad thing is that a lot of these self-identified trans YouTubers seem like really nice people, and probably don’t even realize the bill of goods they’ve been sold.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. And then there is this big study including by Dr.Hyde and others from The American Psychological Association’s site from 2006,called,Think Again:Men and Women Share Cognitive Skills. And it says that psychologists have gathered solid evidence that boys or girls or men and women differ in very few significant ways– differences that would matter in school or at work–in how,and well they think.

    http://www.apa.org/research/action/share.aspx

    Like

  3. Radio interview with psychology professor Dr.Zlatan Krizan of Iowa State University Zlatan Krizan and cultural anthropology professor Emily Wentzell( who rightfully points out how clothes and toys for the sexes are much more gender stereotyped than they were 30 years ago) discuss the findings of the recent extensive gender study that found the sexes are 80% more alike than different.

    http://iowapublicradio.org/post/isu-professor-men-and-women-not-so-different-after-all#stream/0

    Like

  4. In her very good important 1998 book,Why So Slow? The Advancement Of women, spsychologist Virginia Valian says for parents who recognize and actively oppose the limitations of gender schemas matters are more complex she demonstrates clearly that many studies have shown that even parents who say they are egalitarian and who do encourage their children especially girls to consider a wide range of possible occupations and that encouragement influences the children’s aspirations.She then says but without realizing it on the other hand,they are affected by gender schemas,dressing their children in ways appropriate to their gender.

    She then says that their egalitarian beliefs prevent such parents from perceiving that they do encourage gender-specific patterns and from seeing how closely their children conform to the norm.She then says that gender schemas are powerful cultural forces and that adults cannot simply abandon them especially when they are unaware that they hold them and they too conform to them in such matters of dress.On another page she says that everyone,it appears is likely to be affected deeply and nonconsciously by their culture’s view of what it means to be male and female.Then she says that even people who consciously espouse egalitarian beliefs do not realize how profoundly they have internalized the culture’s norms and applied them to their children.

    She then says that there is wide implicit consensus across income level,education,and sex about the core features of gender schemas and for these features parents are much more alike than they are different.She then says regardless of demographic variables,most subscribe to basic gender norms ,dress gender stereotypically themselves,and unwittingly treat their children gender-stereotypically.Then she says parents who actively endorse gender schemas or are unaware of the impact of gender schemas on their perceptions and interpretations,perceive children as gendered from birth and treat them accordingly.

    She also says that studies show that even parents who deliberately try to rear their children nonstereotypically are subject to the influence of gender schemas.She says a study of six year olds for example compared children whose mothers explicitly tried to bring them up in gender-neutral ways with children whose mothers had conventional attitudes about gender roles. And that when independent observers who were unaware of the parents beliefs rated the children’s clothes as masculine or feminine the ratings showed that the boys and girls in both types of families were dressed according to gender norms.She explains that the mothers who were committed to gender equality however saw their children’s clothes as less gender-stereotypical even though they were not.

    She shows how parents perceive and treat their daughters and sons so differently from the moment they are born and she says in chapter 1 called Gender Schemas At work that gender schemas oversimplify and that masculine and feminine traits are not opposites of each other and they are not contradictory and that everyone has both to some degree and expresses different traits in different situations.She then says that differences exist, but the sexes are more alike than they are different and she says it is easy to lose sight of that reality,even though most differences between the sexes are small.

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  5. “Feminine” and “masculine” are really *HUMAN* traits,thoughts,feelings and behaviors.

    And there is plenty of decades worth of great psychological research studies by many different psychologists that shows that the sexes are much more alike than different in most traits,abilities and behaviors with a very large overlap between them,and that most of the differences between them are really small average differences,many of which have shrunk even smaller,and they find much greater individual *people* differences! Biologically the sexes are more alike than different too! As comedian Elaine Boosler said in the 1980’s,I’m only a person trapped in a woman’s body.

    Feminists(such as Robin Morgan,Janice Raymond,Gloria Steinem, Sheila Jeffreys etc) who have rightfully pointed this fact out,are not afraid of transsexuals or prejudiced against them,the issue is what I said it is. The only transsexual woman who actually debunks these common sexist gender myths,and gender stereotypes is Kate Bornstein author of Gender Outlaw:On Men,Women And The Rest Of Us,Gender Outlaws,My Gender Workbook etc. She was a heterosexual man who was married and had a daughter,then had a sex change and became a lesbian woman and then decided not to idenify as a man or a woman.

    I heard Kate interviewed in 1998 on a local NPR show and she totally debunks gender myths,and rejects the “feminine” and “masculine” categories as the mostly socially constructed categories that they really are.She even said,what does it mean to feel or think like a woman(or man) she said what does that really mean.

    And as cultural anthropologist Roger Lancaster wrote in his introduction, in his very good 2003 book,The Trouble With Nature Sex In Science when he’s talking about how scientists constantly search for a ”gay brain”,a ”gay gene” or ”gay intergovernmental” patterns. Roger came out as a gay man in college.

    He then says (One can hardly understate the naive literalism of present-day science on these matters: Scientists still look for the supposed anatomical attributes of the opposite sex embedded somewhere in the inverts brain or nervous system.) He then says and this notion now enjoys a second,third,and even fourth life in political discourses.He then says it is by appeal to such conceits that Aaron Hans,a Washington,D.C.- based transgender activist,reflects on his uncomfortable life as a girl:”I didn’t *think* I was a boy,I *knew* I was a boy.” He says,Hans elaborates: ”You look at pictures of me- I actually have great pictures of me in drag-and I literally look like a little boy in a dress.

    Roger then says,Far,far be it from me to cast doubt on anyone’s sense of discomfort with the ascribed gender roles.Nor would I question anyone’s sense that sexual identity is a deeply seated aspect of who they are .But testimonies of this sort and appeals to the self-evidence of perception beg the obvious question:Just what is a little boy or girl * supposed* to look like? The photograph that accompanies Han’s interview shows a somewhat robust girl.Is this to say that (real) girls are necessarily delicate and (real) boys athletic? He then says (If so,virtually all of my nieces are ”really” boys,since not a one of them is delicate or un presupposing)

    Roger then says,There is indeed something compelling about such intensely felt and oft- involved experiences-”I knew I was gay all along”; ”I felt like a girl” – but that compulsion belongs to the realm of outer culture,not nature.That is, if ”inappropriate” acts,feelings,body types,or desires seem to throw us into the bodies or minds other genders,it is because acts,feelings,and so on are associated with gender by dint of the same all-enveloping cultural logic that gives us pink blankets ( or caps,or crib cards,I.D. bracelets) for girls and blue for boys in maternity ward cribs.He then says,when we diverge one way or another from those totalizing associations,we feel-we really feel;in the depths of our being-”different”.Therein lies the basis for an existential opposition to the established order of gendered associations.

    Roger then says But therein also lies the perpetual trap: Every essentialist claim about the ”nature” of same sex desire in turn refers to and reinforces suppositions about the ”nature” of ”real” men and women (from whom the invert differs), about the ”naturalness” of their mutual attraction(demonstrated nowhere so much as in the inverts inversion),about the scope of their acts,feelings,body types,and so on( again, marked off by the deviation of the deviant). Aping the worst elements of gender/sexual conservatism,every such proposition takes culturally constituted meanings -the correlative associations of masculinity and femininity,active and passive,blue and pink- as ”natural facts”.

    Roger then says,In a twist as ironic as the winding of a double helix that goes first this way,then that,the search for gay identify gradually finds it’s closure in the normalcy of the norm as a natural law.In the end,I am not convinced of the basic suppositions here. I doubt that most men are unfamiliar with the sentiment given poetic form by Pablo Neruda:”It happens that I became tired of being a man. ”Even psychiatrists who treat ”gender dysphoria”- a slick term for rebellion against conventional gender roles -admit that at least 50% of children at some point exhibit signs of mixed or crossed gender identify or express a desire to be the ”opposite” sex. Roger has a note number to the reference in his notes section to a March 22,1994 New York Times article by Daniel Goleman called,The ‘Wrong’ Sex:A New Definition of Childhood Pain.

    Roger also says that the way the media reported the David Reimer case was very gender stereotyped and and biological deterministc.He also said that they raised him as a girl too late.

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  6. The brilliant,beautiful inside and out, Gloria Steinem recently has given interviews and speeches like this one in promoting her new great important book,My Life On The Road.

    In this recent speech at The Renfrew Center for women Gloria Steinem gave a speech about the media and eating disorders in young women,and she said that feminism must empower both women and men to be free to live however they want without the restrictions and expectations of gender roles. She then said,that we are taught to believe that gender roles are natural it’s a tragedy.

    http://www.newsworks.org/index.php/local/healthscience/88345-gloria-steinem-delivers-keynote-address-on-feminism-eating-disorders-

    She was also interviewed recently on the popular NPR show,Fresh Air where she talked about how remember when you were a 9 year old girl climbing trees and saying I know what I want, I know what I like,and then the pressure of being heavily genderized starts right when you become a teenager happens,and even she was influenced strongly by this and said that it wasn’t until she was older than 50 especially when she turned 60 she said that she became free of gender.

    http://www.npr.org/2015/10/26/451862822/at-81-feminist-gloria-steinem-finds-herself-free-of-the-demands-of-gender

    If you look on google for recent video interviews with her she talks about how gender is made up,like other categories like race etc.like this great recent one,

    GREAT RECENT VIDEO GLORIA STEINEM INTERVIEWhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3rz8Lg585U

    Like

  7. Interview with long time feminist Letty Cottin Pogrebin about her teaching and erasing her two twin daughters and her son with non-sexist non-gender roles and gender stereotypes. http://www.smith.edu/libraries/libs/ssc/activist/transcripts/Pogrebin.pdf

    Feminist Letty Cottin Pogrebin’s son didn’t reject playing with dolls and tea sets, just as her identical twin daughters didn’t reject the non-gender stereotyped toys and behaviors she encouraged them to have. And her son didn’t grow up gay or transgendered he’s married and I think has children,but he didn’t grow up to be a macho football player either,as Letty said he’s a chef and loves to cook.

    And there is a lot wrong with sexist very limiting gender roles,gender myths and gender stereotypes that are mostly artificially created by the very sexist,gender divided,gender stereotyped,woman-hating male dominated family and society we all live in,which makes both sexes,into only half of a person,instead of full human people able to develop and express their full shared *human* traits,abilities,and behaviors etc. And then these artificial gender differences continue to reinforce gender inequalities,male dominance and men’s violence against women,children and even each other.

    There is a great 2005 book,Sex Lies And Stereotypes Challenging Views Of Women,Men and Relationships by social and cognitive British psychologist Dr.Gary Wood.He too shows plenty of great important research studies done over decades by many different psychologists that finds small average sex differences,and the sexes are much more similar than different.He also thoroughly demonstrates that gender roles,gender myths and gender stereotypes which are mostly socially and culturally constructed,harm both sexes because they are very liming,cause conflicts and misunderstands between women and men,and only allow each of them to become half of a person which can cause mental and physical conditions and diseases.

    Like

  8. Also,Dr.Anne Fausto-Sterling’s very good important book, Myths of Gender:Biological Theories About Women and Men.She is a biologist and geneticist at Brown University and she thoroughly debunks these claims about testosterone levels and aggressive behavior and a whole lot of other sexist,racist claims made by both women and men scientists.

    And Delusions of Gender How Our Minds Society and Neurosexism Create Differences by neuro scientist Cordelia Fine also thoroughly debunks common myths of gender http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/delusions-of-gender-cordelia-fine/1101003614?ean=9780393340242

    And also the book,Brain Storm:The Flaws in The Science of Sex Differences by Barnard professor Rebecca Jordan-Young as reviewed by Amanda Schaffer on Slate’s site Oct 21,2010 called The Last Word On Fetal T Rebecca Jordan-Young’s masterful critique of the research on the relationship between testosterone and sex differtence.And Amanda says how remarkably similar women and men’s brains and minds actually are.

    http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2010/10/the_last_word_on_fetal_t.single.html#

    Like

  9. It really isn’t surprising at all that the sexes brains are more alike than different,( although given the fact that there is a lot of evidence from neuroscience that human brains are plastic and easily molded and shaped by different life experiences and different conditioning,and environments, and the fact that the sexes are born biologically more alike than different with very few differences but are still perceived and treated very differently systematically in every way by parents and other adult care givers, from the moment it’s learned they are a girl or a boy, before they are born it’s amazing that our brains are still more alike than different,and that we are psychologically more alike than different to despite all of this!) the clitoris and penis are very similar because they come from the same exact tissue, so does the male scrotum, the female vulva and even the ovaries and testicles.

    Like

  10. Reblogged this on anywomans humanity and commented:
    “I wasn’t like other girls. I liked pokemon, I liked Dragonball Z”

    All based on sexist stereotypes. What this person is saying is that it is impossible for girls to like cars, video games, etc. and girls only are interested in having babies and looking pretty for men.

    This type of attitude keeps women out of high paying trades like auto repair, becoming pilots, or even studying to become doctors.

    Like

  11. Okay, seriously? When I was in elementary school, EVERYONE was into Pokemon and Dragon Ball Z. Why did no one tell me that I was really a dude and so was every other female student at the school ever?

    Like I’ve said before, it’s one thing to make terrible choices as an adult, but dragging kids down with your sexism is really low.

    Liked by 2 people

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