Questioning teens and social contagion

Young people who for some reason feel dissatisfied with their sex often go to reddit’s various transgender communities to ask for advice.

A 14 year old kid asks for advice on two different subreddits about how to talk to family members about gender issues and about medications like estrogen.

On one of the posts, an adult invites the 14 year old to take contact privately.

adult aksing minors to PM him

In the other post, concrete advice about how to obtain prescription medication illegally is given, complete with dosages:

medication advice.PNG

Or how about this 13 year old, who writes:

Hello all, I’m thirteen today (yay!), and I’m kinda confused about my gender.

For my entire life, I’ve been happy with being a guy. I knew I didn’t fit in with other boys however, and surrounded myself with girls as my friends. I’m rather feminine, you can blame my sisters for that.

So, just turned 13, and is feminine boy.

About a year ago, thoughts passed through my head such as “if only I was a girl”. These thoughts were rare and I pushed them aside, not thinking anything of them. Roughly six months ago, I joined an online forum. I noticed that more than a few people were transgender. I knew what the term was before this, but, again, I didn’t think anything of it.

This story sounds familiar to anyone who’s been paying attention to the stories many newly trans teenagers post online. An intense period of bingeing on social media accounts of being trans leading to the teen suddenly identifying as trans themselves.

Two months ago, I started thinking about this. What if I was female? I liked the idea of it. I changed my gender on a few sites to female. One month ago, I started really reading up on it. I was a bit obsessed for one night, then I stopped thinking about it. Because I stopped thinking about it, I dismissed it again. Even though I thought I stopped thinking about it, three weeks ago I came out to my boyfriend, and then one week ago, my sister. They both took it very well. Last night, I was thinking and reading up on this like crazy, I was obsessed. I saw that most people realised at a young age, and so I thought I must be doing this for attention, or forcing myself to think this, or it might just be a phase which will go away.

What is the consensus in asktransgender?

you're transgender
You’re transgender.
if you think it then you are it
If you think, “I want to be a girl” at all then you are probably trans

Or this 14 year old, who asks for advice about feeling like a trans boy

I apologize in advance but I am desperate for insight and am feeling hopeless!! I’ve been considering if I’m a trans boy for the past two months (thinking about gender for almost a year) I am 14 and hopefully any of you can help.

It all started with my best friend and I talking about our characters (we dream of writing a series one day together haha) and I proposed if one of my characters was transgender and while exploring the character it was as if they way i saw them changed, that they were happier in the end and it was as if I was supposed to create them as a trans character to begin with (it’s strange and probably hard to understand)

After this I became uneasy, like something had shifted and when I asked my friends about my feelings they said maybe physiologically I identified as that character and was actually trans myself. This at first seemed unreal but also made sense in a away.

I have a obsessive personality and continued to research the hell out of the Internet, watched hours of youtube videos and began looking back at my self as I grew up. It seemed I was okay with being a girl as a child nothing really struck me as typical trans story of knowing at a young age(not trying to invalidate other people’s transitions whatsoever) but as a child I often enjoyed portraying the boys in pretend, years even. When I started puberty I became very insecure about my body (breasts and starting my period) I was always humiliated when people brought things even if it was my mom and it was just us. It seems I tolerate being a girl but I know I’m something other than that. Now more than ever I think about my gender for hours at a time, during school, while bathing and before I go to bed. I seem to be more comfy able with male clothes. 

It’s again a similar story. Being obsessed with transition videos on YouTube. Feeling uncomfortable during puberty. Feeling more comfortable in “male” clothes.

Not a single person who replies to this child mentions that most of the experiences being described are 100% normal and common. Which young woman has not felt embarrassed about getting breasts and a period? Nobody tells this child that which clothes you wear don’t make you a man or a woman.

The poster goes on to post again a month later, still confused:

Need some insight. I’ve been wondering about my gender for a year questioning If I’m trans for 3 months and have been in gender limbo since. I’m a indecisive, awkward and sensitive person which I believe relates to the fact I can’t make a decision on who I am. I believe being on t would make me happy but I’m terrified of loosing hair and being overly hairy, im uncomfortable with my chest and hips as well. Im not very masuline but neither am i feminine, it’s hard for me to imagine myself as a woman in the future but a man just seems like a far off dream. I can’t seem to imagine myself with anyone or having children and I believe that may relate to my gender issues. I feel like a fake and a phony and am terrified of realizing this is a phase. I’m only 14 but I’ve been obsessively researched everything (hours and hours, while in bed, sitting in bath, during class) and am in this exhausting gray area where everything is awful and just ‘exploring’ my identity isn’t an option. Am I maybe in denial or just confused ? (I understand people can’t tell me exactly who I am but still) Please any advice would be lovely.

And of course, gets this answer:

textbook trans.PNG
You’re textbook Trans

It turns out that this poster has no less than three friends who have also recently come to identify as transgender:

three friends

Teenagers have always been struggling to fit in, to figure out who they are, to label themselves. But it’s not until now that discovering your true self involves taking hormones and getting surgery. And it’s not until now that questioning whether it is wise for teens to be getting medication advice online is bigoted.



17 thoughts on “Questioning teens and social contagion

  1. Excellent example. The Supreme Court of the United States of America must, MUST, be informed if this. If it weren’t for a ‘courtesy’ switch on Breyer’s (?) part we would have had four (4) Justices sending a girl into the boys bathroom. Which means any girl, any boy with gender identity issues. Which would be an upheaval of law in the United States.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Dear Transgender Reality: it is high on my list to get as much info from the gender critical blogosphere to each Justice.

    This site has made a difference in Fort Worth TX. Now, I’m asking you to step it up a level, and get this information to them in print.

    You must use snail mail.

    This is from the SCOTUS website:

    Preparing Your Letter
    Use the correct title and name for the recipient. The U.S. Supreme Court’s website lists the names of current justices at On the envelope and in the inside address of your letter, address the letter to “Chief Justice [Full Name]” or “Justice [Full Name].”

    Use the salutation “Dear Chief Justice:” or, for the associate justices, “Dear Justice [Last Name]:”

    Mail your letter to:

    The Supreme Court of the United States

    One First Street NE

    Washington, DC 20543

    Liked by 1 person


    Grr. I just had a comment vanish on me. Starting over:

    Ok. I’ve been fighting this in Fort Worth, and have contacted my senators, representatives, Lt gov. Board of Ed of FW and yes! It has had an impact. HUGE. But… All it takes is five justices on SCOTUS to overturn everything, sending parents to the doghouse, and letting this indoctrination mess spread exponentially.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. What is going on is that we most words like “Tom boy” and Tom girl” for kids that just have different genetic levels of hormones. Some women are tall athletic builds, agile, and analytical. They might like riding motorbikes that aren’t pink and like to fish and prefer jeans and a T-shirt to wearing dresses. That’s NORMAL female behavior! But this rigid emphasis on girls/women being all about their lipstick and hair is part of the problem!! This girl is perfectly normal! But notice how because she doesn’t really like fritty, ‘girly’ things she THINKS there’s something wrong with her so she “must be” Trans! It’s utter nonsense! Some girls just grow into Women who have interests that DON’T REQUIRE or need “dressing up” for!

    It’s like it’s 1950 and we’re STILL needing to have this absurd discussion about what most people know: being an independent woman who isn’t hyperfeminine does NOT mean you’re a lesbian OR Trans! Wanting to have sec with and being attracted to other women is what being lesbian is, NOT your hobbies, make-up fixations, or ’emotional sensitivity’!

    I actually had a transwoman TELL me I was a trans man because I don’t like heels, dresses, or wearing makeup very often and am “tough”. Uh, got would be too if you’d led my life buster, but I’m not whinging half as hard as you are and btw, no, I’m not a lesbian, but thanks very much for mansplaining my identify for me while you fetish over fake eye lashes, idiot!

    Up to my eyeballs with it. I hope that teen isn’t rushing out to get her tits chopped off because of what some stranger n the internet is telling her she is. Hmmm, “telling” peeled seems to be a hobby with them. Maybe another part of the fetish package?? CONTROL??

    Liked by 1 person

  5. […] In adolescents: Often indicates that the youth has received programming in school that manipulates common adolescent insecurities about body-image or sexuality by falsely teaching that people can change sex and that it’s totally fine if they want to do it. (Note: Such programming is now common in USA schools, as part of “comprehensive sexuality education.“) May also indicate that the youth has visited social media web sites where adult activists lurk with the goal of convincing confused young people that they are “really trans… […]


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