The Aims and Purposes of This Website

In recent years, the transgender community has started advancing an ideology that creates psychological distress, especially in young people.  While trans activists in the news media (like Janet Mock and Laverne Cox) talk about transgender issues in a way that makes them sound tame, the reality is different once gender questioning and confused individuals make their way to trans groups online.

In these groups, teenagers who feel uncomfortable with their bodies and adults with depression and anxiety are coached–yes, coached–into thinking the source of their discomfort is a lifelong dysphoria that can only be corrected via sterilizing cross-sex hormones and, often, disfiguring surgeries.

You may not believe that this coaching or recruitment happens, or maybe you’ve already had experience with it.  Either way, this blog aims to show evidence that transgender groups online are actively recruiting children, pressuring children and young adults to make irreversible bodily changes as young as possible, and turning them away from any family members or friends who do not support every aspect of transgender ideology.

While many transgender people in the offline world just want to live their lives quietly and free from interference, transgender ideology online is rapidly showing indications of becoming a cult, complete with suicides for the cause and self-mutilation and castration.  If you are a parent of a newly gender questioning or transgender teenager, you need to be aware of what these online transgender groups are telling your child:

  • That their current discomfort with their growing, changing body means they will never be happy without hormones and possibly surgeries
  • That their natural puberty is poisoning their body and will prevent them from ever becoming the person they want to be
  • That normal childhood transgressions of gender norms (a boy playing with dolls, for instance) indicates a lifelong desire to be the opposite sex
  • That suicide can be preferable to starting hormones after puberty
  • That suicide can be a valid political act, or a good way to show parents and others that the transgender movement or your pronoun choice is serious
  • That being aroused by wearing women’s clothing means you are transgender and require a lifetime of hormone therapy and possible surgeries
  • That parents who “misgender” their child or call them by a name or pronoun other than their chosen one are being abusive and/or forcing their child to kill him or herself
  • That teens and young adults should stop listening to anyone in their life who expresses concern over their transition or believes they may be fixating on gender transition for the wrong reasons

This blog will show evidence for this and so much more that you won’t believe until you see it.  This is the real face of transgender activism online.  This is what your child got sucked into.  We’ll talk about deprogramming tips, later, too, but for now, this is our advice:

If your child thinks he or she is transgender, get them away from the internet and back into reality.  Whether your child decides to go through with transition or not, the ideology of transgender activism online is toxic and leads to depression, self-harm, and suicide.

If you are a transgender commenter who would like to comment about your personal experiences, please read this post first: https://transgenderreality.com/2015/04/01/changes-to-comment-policy/

This website is not affiliated with the reddit community of the same name.

56 thoughts on “The Aims and Purposes of This Website

  1. Fuck this bullshit. Most of it has no basis in fact.

    That their current discomfort with their growing, changing body means they will never be happy without hormones and possibly surgeries.

    Well, yeah. How would you feel if you were a female and woke up in a male body one day. I think you might get estrogen too.

    That their natural puberty is poisoning their body and will prevent them from ever becoming the person they want to be.

    See above. How would you feel if you were a female and woke up in a 12 year old boy’s body and started going through male puberty.

    That normal childhood transgressions of gender norms (a boy playing with dolls, for instance) indicates a lifelong desire to be the opposite sex.

    No sane trans* person agrees with this.

    That suicide can be preferable to starting hormones after puberty.

    Starting hormones after puberty means you have gone through puberty. That would cause stress, anxiety, depression, all things that contribute to suicide.

    That suicide can be a valid political act, or a good way to show parents and others that the transgender movement or your pronoun choice is serious.

    I do not agree with this, like many other people. If you were on reddit right after Leelah, some of the top comments were, “No! Don’t use suicide to make a political statement!” You can’t use one isolated incident to say that all trans* people are like that.

    That being aroused by wearing women’s clothing means you are transgender and require a lifetime of hormone therapy and possible surgeries.

    That is transvestic fetishism, not being transgender. Anyone who knows their shit about trans* people can tell you this.

    That parents who “misgender” their child or call them by a name or pronoun other than their chosen one are being abusive and/or forcing their child to kill him or herself.

    Again, this causes stress, anxiety and depression. All contrbuting factors to suicide.

    That teens and young adults should stop listening to anyone in their life who expresses concern over their transition or believes they may be fixating on gender transition for the wrong reasons.

    Well, this is true. It’s your body, why should other people dictate what happens to it?

    Liked by 3 people

    • Rather peculiar how you forget that your stupid umbrella philosophy necessarily included those you label as having a ‘transvestic fetishism.’

      The reality is the online cult of ‘transgender’ bullshittery has yielded a generation that will have MANY current teens questioning in a few years why they have fucked up their lives. When I was a kid, the image of ‘better living through chemistry’ involved getting stoned…but there was no life-long damage being done. The chemicals being fed to the boys who are NOW being told they are ‘trans’ because they like pink fluffy shit or girls who like to be rough and tumble WILL do permanent damage that is not reversible.

      Any parent who goes along with the delusional bullshit needs to be investigated for child abuse because that is precisely what it is. It is perfectly ok for a boy or girl to be gender-nonconforming and *gasp* even be gay or lesbian.

      Liked by 9 people

    • “Well, yeah. How would you feel if you were a female and woke up in a male body one day. I think you might get estrogen too”

      That’s impossible. How would a female know what it feels like to be male? No one can know that they are the wrong sex to their body because they don’t know what it feels like to be the other sex. There is nothing that feels inherently “female” or “male” other than the way you are treated (gender, not sex), the way you prefer things or behave (gender, not sex), and the way your body feels (biological reality). There is no such thing as being born or waking up in the “wrong body”. That is a mental disorder, and the solution is mental therapy, not body modification or the hijacking of spaces set aside for the people who actually are in that group and who actually do have a lived reality of being in it. Just because a person is uncomfortable with being themself doesn’t mean they are “Other”.

      “No sane trans* person agrees with this.”

      I think you meant “No sane trans* person.” See above.

      “Again, this causes stress, anxiety and depression. All contrbuting factors to suicide.”

      No, thinking you’re in the wrong body causes stress, anxiety and depression, which are all contributing factors to suicide. Parents who don’t humour your delusions aren’t the cause; your delusions are the cause.

      “Well, this is true. It’s your body, why should other people dictate what happens to it?”

      Children aren’t old enough to consent to things like cosmetic surgery based on delusional beliefs. That’s why adults should be monitoring this. As for adults, they can do what they want. But just don’t expect society to humour your delusions just because you’re okay with it. If you think you are a turtle, go ahead and dress like one (whatever that looks like to you), but I’m not going to put you in an aquarium and feed you all day so that you can avoid suicide. And I’m definitely not going to tell all the other real turtles to accept you as someone who knows exactly what it’s like to be a turtle, because you don’t.

      Liked by 9 people

      • Hi Reality Check
        Thank you for this post. Glad to know I am not alone as my thoughts echo your above reply. Can you please reply to me? You can reach me through myheartandhope.wordpress.com or mumtears.tumblr.com I’d like to learn more about you and your situation/thoughts about this trans crazyness.
        Mumnrs

        Liked by 2 people

      • “No one can know that they are the wrong sex to their body because they don’t know what it feels like to be the other sex.”

        I was born with Partial Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome, and was made into a boy at birth. So I do, and a very few of my brothers and sisters. And I love how transgender people try to use us Intersex people, to validate themselves. Personally I would support a “true transsexual”, but this transgender stuff is just getting way out of hand. Let these kids, be kids.

        Liked by 2 people

        • Love what you said here. You are absolutely right. I too was born the same way as you were. And during the seventies had people telling me all kinds of ridiculous stuff. They even told me I was proof of genetic homosexuality and that I was in denial because I preferred girls. They even recommended me to at least try to kiss a boy! Just for fun, can you top that one? But anyway, great position and didn’t think I’d meet another intersex person like me.

          Jessie

          Like

    • “Well, yeah. How would you feel if you were a female and woke up in a male body one day. I think you might get estrogen too.”

      Actually, I would cheer, and go apply for a job, in the knowledge that I am more likely to get it. I would walk through the city late at night, knowing that the worst that can happen is that I get robbed of my money. I would travel the world, walk around topless, and just have fun.

      I would speak for feminist causes without near as much danger of being threatened as women have. I would have sex that is centred all around me. I would live.

      Get estrogen? What would that achieve? Someone who has lived in an actual female body knows that a female body cannot be surgically constructed, and having breasts does not equate being female.

      Liked by 7 people

    • “Well, yeah. How would you feel if you were a female and woke up in a male body one day. I think you might get estrogen too.”

      Why? What would that accomplish? I’d go right to the press about the fuckin’ miracle that just occurred and become rich and famous.

      Liked by 4 people

    • You sound very angry. In fact most ppl who claim to be trans sound angry most of the time. Think about it, don’t you want peace in your heart? This lifestyle will never give you peace. Give yourself time to figure yourself out, it will happen. I wish you the best and I wish you peace and love.

      Liked by 1 person

    • “Well, yeah. How would you feel if you were a female and woke up in a male body one day. I think you might get estrogen too.”

      I’ve lived my whole life in a female body and was socialized female. That’s quite a different story. I’d also be very upset if I woke up in the body of someone who was a different race, or a greatly different height. Or if I woke up in the body of another species. Does that validate transracial and transspecies people? Does it validate parents who let their children have surgeries to change their apparent race or species?

      “No sane trans* person agrees with this.”

      There are an awful lot of insane trans* people then. I’ve never heard a single story of a prepubescent trans* person that wasn’t based in sex stereotypes about toys/clothing/colors or other gender stereotypes.

      Liked by 4 people

      • Help me please ! I don’t know who you are, but I found your article because I was trying to find out how to help my little girl. She has been brainwashed, and is in danger now of harming herself. Could you please
        email me. I believe what you are writing because I have seen this happen to my child. Could you pleae email me some advice to help deprogram her?? I have been to doctors, counsellors, etc. I am not homophobic or anything like that…I just know that she is not really transgender and didn’t use to hate herself. Any information, advice, links appreciated.

        Liked by 3 people

  2. This is a public safety issue, and your post here highlights the urgency to protect children from predators of all types.

    Same sex hormone replacement therapies have been discredited due to adverse health effects, a la the Womens Health Initiative out of The Hutch, the largest prospective study of HRT proving it was unsafe for women to take estrogen after menopause. The use of testosterone by males who have “low-T” has also recently been shown to cause morbidity.

    So, why is it not criminal to prescribe and supply cross-sex hormones to adolescents? Even the online vet hormones should be liable for prosecution if sold to minors.

    The illogical and rabid trans demands place their sexual pleasure over the rights of the majority population – females. Born females. And risking the future health of a generation of young confused folks. The human brain does not complete maturing until about age 25. Having raised two of them I can attest and do believe anyone under 21 has a lot of exploring to do on their sexuality and should not be drugged bat shit for the confuzion.

    Thank you for hosting this web, good luck and much appreciated.

    Liked by 7 people

  3. I am glad you have this resource to help parents who are confused by this issue. There are predatory adults online and it is very telling how quickly children and adults go from just being interested in transgender issues/questioning their gender to believe that they must experiment with dangerous hormones and surgery to be happy. I have always believed that plastic surgery and altering your body will not solve psychological issues or anything else that could be making you unhappy.

    Another issue is that many parents don’t monitor or limit their child’s internet usage. Many older parents are not technologically savy. People around my age (I’m 25) who are parents often got addicted to internet usage, especially social media, as teens and see no problem with their kids being addicted too. (That commercial where the woman lets her toddler play with her $500 phone comes to mind.) Anyway, in general online life can replace real life and I think children are especially prone to this and the online echo chambers.

    My advice to parents is that children might turn to these sites if they are being bullied at school and/or are receiving pressure from you to conform to the “right” gender roles. Don’t freak out if your son wants to play with dolls or your daughter likes toy cars.

    I am glad you are documenting these things. Kudos to you.

    Liked by 5 people

  4. I have been concerned for several years about what I see happening to ‘trans’ children. As an educator, it is my job to be culturally competant when it comes to issues of race, class, sexuality, ses, etc. My heart goes out the these kids. What I see playing out in the classroom is alarming to me as an educator, parent and human being. Kids who are are diagnosed as “trans” seem to fall apart peice by peice despite “treatment” and accommodations. They become more fragmented and dysfunctional, they learn less, they cloak themselves in an internet hyper-reality and become enraged when asked to put the phones/devices away. I have referred to them using the pronouns they want, I have sat and listened to biological males talk about being on their period or being pregnant. I have been faced and agonized over the bathroom dilemma, I have witnessed violent fights(verbal and physical) btw bio males and bio females over the issue, and I have watched many of these kids mentally deteriorate to the point where they have to be hospitalized, or drop out/flunk out of school. Now perhaps this is related to my particular district/area. I dont know. And regardless of my opinion on the whether or not gender is innate, and/or whether or not transgender is in the body or mind, I would like for there to be an open, honest critique of the practice of “transgendering” children. If for no other reason than that the concept itself seems to be destructive to the integrity of a child’s psyche.

    Liked by 8 people

    • Thank you for your comment, gchild. I’m glad more people are starting to see how toxic this can be. The thing is, it can be really hard to speak up against it in any way, because the cries of transphobia come our immediately, and they can seriously fuck with people’s lives. There is a reason this blog is anonymous.

      Liked by 5 people

      • I have identified as “a girl/woman” for the past 12 years of my life. From the day I told my mother, she was skeptical, I went to therapy over this from age 13 to 19, and they diagnosed me with Gender Identity Disprder. I was placed on everything from anti-depressants and anti-psychotics to being told to pursue HRT. I still haven’t. Because it’s so complicated for me. I’m gay, and have been out as such since 15, I prefer “women’s clothes”, I enjoy the art of makeup, I like painting my nails, and a lot of the superficial “feminine stuff” but I know I will face heavy criticism from others for presenting that way daily. Because of that I feel uncomfortable using the men’s restroom. I am not really upset with my genitalia, but I don’t ever use it for anything besides urination. I just wouldn’t get the surgery because it’s costly, and will never be “the real deal”. And “women’s clothing” looks bizarre on the male body, so HRT seems to be my only hope there. There is nothing sexual about any of this, and it’s just how I’m comfortable. I hardly claim to be a “real woman” or a female, and I know much of what I enjoy is just part of the stereotyped gender role for women, and I don’t know any other term for it. Do you have any advice to offer on how I should move forward with my life that doesn’t involve cross-sex hormones and classifying as transgender?

        Liked by 3 people

        • Why don’t you channel your aesthetic appreciation into becoming a make up artist or manicurist? I think it would be a great match. There is nothing wrong with a man liking “feminine stuff.” But such a man is still a man. Most people like a mix of things that are traditional and nontraditional for their sex. This is normal. I think you need to become 100% comfortable with yourself as a gay man and accept yourself as is. There are many good career choices and / or hobbies for men with a good eye for beauty / aesthetics. I wish you well.

          Liked by 3 people

        • To questioningGID
          I realize this is a million months later. But I just wanted to say for godsake don’t mutilate yourself! Including with hormones. You can make a life for yourself without having to change who you are. First and foremost avoid people who think that your manner is WRONG! Wrong like Satanic and evil. There are people who care way too much about the most stilted and 50s style idea of ‘masculinity’. Marlboro man. Sports sports sports. There’s also something people refer to as “gender policing” which is where someone points out and comments on every tiny little slightly different from the stereotype thing somebody does. There have been studies about day care workers doing that to little kids contrary to the actual values of the kids parents. Like ‘oh Jimmy don’t play with that doll.’ When its a three-year-old boy and his parents don’t give a rats ass if he plays with the flippin doll. Dolls are fine at the house he lives in. So notice if the people around you are doing gender policing things. And when they are think to yourself “what a bonehead”.

          Also is it that you like “feminine” things? Or is it that you like things that are pretty? That you like to engage with stuff around you aesthetically? Interesting thing: there’s a story on the Guardian website about a feminine gay man who transgendered under pressure from his bisexual boyfriend and then regretted it. And he describes growing up in an incredibly rough meaning violent working-class neighborhood in I believe Edinburgh. To be not a mega Marlboro Man was totally not OK in that milieu. Then there’s of this: I’m a woman but I had a brother and we grew up in an intellectual and aesthetic/artsy milieu. My brother was a horrible emotionally dead jock. So he’s not really part of this. And was not happy though. But in the social world in which we live if he had it been interested in art like being a painter or an art historian, or in design and making stuff including with lots of knowing about color and lovely colors, or if he had wanted to be like a psychotherapist (but probably not a kindergarten teacher cuz that’s too plebeian) none of these things would have counted as feminine or even less than fully masculine. It’s a class thing. And because we’re a society that doesn’t talk about sex roles which is what gender really is, we never talk about how the rules for what is OK for males to do is totally different in different class milieux. This is so fucking unfair! I’m not sure if what I’m trying to say is entirely clear here. It’s: if you get work and make a life for yourself in an artsy milieu as a gay man you will not be seen as feminine. You will be seen as a gay man. For real. I’m middle-aged, I know things. 😁

          In 1980 I went to live in San Francisco. And one of the things that really struck me was all the different ways that different men behaved. Not only were there tons of obviously gay men. And sometimes it was obvious not by their manner but because they were flirting with other men, or they were in a gay bar. But there were like multiple subtypes of gay men in terms of mannerisms. And to me, a woman, absolutely none of them seemed feminine. What I’m suggesting is that if we were having a conversation I wouldn’t think you were feminine either. Now I could be wrong. Or I could be right and the things that you think of as feminine about yourself are just non-macho.

          Also taking estrogen or any other female hormone will not make you feel better. It won’t act like a tranquilizer. It will just make you feel sick. Because your body doesn’t need or want that. The whole idea of being on some non-physical level a different sex from your body is simply not true. And the whole idea that people can feel better emotionally if they change their bodies because of this different sex inside thing, is contrary to the normal way in which medicine and psychology are EVER done. When people are suffering emotionally we don’t change their bodies. We help them understand what’s making them unhappy. You can change (as in alter) your mind, that actually occurs. And mark my words in 20 years transgender is going to be seen as another Hideous Medical Fiasco. And the doctors who are helping people ‘transition’ now will be considered to have been guilty of medical abuse. Yes I am certain of that.

          Be well.

          Liked by 2 people

        • Here are two gender critical transgenders that agree with you and admit that they are not of the opposite sex, but only feel more comfortable in *playing the roles* usually attributed to the opposite sex by society.

          Jen Bob’s video talking about “… delusional trans people…” (@ 5m53s)

          and blogger Transavant at tumblr,

          I tend to believe that the main problem are social stereotypes, we must fight against this plague.
          People must be respected for being who they are, period.

          If we all lived in a fully non-prejudicial society, do you think that you would still want to be “female” or to have roles mainly associated with females in our society?

          Liked by 2 people

    • “Transgender Reality” really impressed me. Their own words show a reality very different than the narrative of transsexuality offered up ad nauseum in the media. The whole issue needs discussion, not just the parts transactivists want to focus on. There are certain uncomfortable truths that need to be incorporated into any serious discussion.

      Liked by 5 people

  5. Hello, your site helps me a lot understand this “transgender” ideology and confirms many ideas I had about it.

    I’m curious about something: most of your posts are about MtF/transwomen’s transitions and feelings, is it intentional, or are they the majority in these trans communities or are they just the loudest and the most “passionate” about this topic? Or they’re just more dishonest than their female counterparts? I’ve only read two transgender females’ (“transmen”) on tumblr: one was “truscum” who thought gender dysphoria was basically a mental illness and transition was one of the solutions, and the other was a feminist very critical of the trans ideology and how people think of it as something natural and normal. I’d love to see some FtM arguments and feelings, do you have more?

    Like

    • Thank you, Jiji.

      I think the MtF’s are, as you put it, often the loudest and most “passionate” in the online trans communities. in fact, even though r/asktransgender is for both mtfs and ftms, most of the posts seem to be from mtfs.

      Another interesting thing is how the young people who are questioning their gender identities differ from each other. If you look through a few posts in r/asktransgender, there is a clear difference between why the young females think they are trans and why the young males think they are trans. For the females, the most common reason they have for wanting to transition is either being uncomfortable with their bodies or with the female gender role. For males, there is very often a sexual component. Sexual fantasies about being female, sexual crossdressing, etc. This is almost entirely absent from the narratives of the female transitioners.

      Liked by 5 people

      • Thanks for your answer.

        “For males, there is very often a sexual component. Sexual fantasies about being female, sexual crossdressing, etc. This is almost entirely absent from the narratives of the female transitioners.”

        That’s exactly the thing I forgot to ask you: if the female transitioners sounded like the males. I actually found the fetishization and sexualization of “feminity” extremely disturbing in these posts. It’s as if they see feminity and womanhood as just a repressed sexual fantasy. It’s not just ignorant, it can also be insulting when it comes from someone who think “being female is going on easymode, everything’s perfect and pretty, females have no problems”.
        I was really curious to see if female transitioners were as creepy and fantasized about the male body, its genitals and its clothes the same way… But it seems like not.
        I also wonder if there might be something else than transition to solve “gender dysphoria” (apart from fighting against gender roles I mean but that’s for future generations). I’m gonna dig into that.

        Keep up the good work!

        Liked by 3 people

        • I come from a radfem blog and I want to respond to this:

          ‘I actually found the fetishization and sexualization of “feminity” extremely disturbing in these posts. It’s as if they see feminity and womanhood as just a repressed sexual fantasy. It’s not just ignorant, it can also be insulting when it comes from someone who think “being female is going on easymode, everything’s perfect and pretty, females have no problems”.

          A brilliant radical feminist just described this to me perfectly on my blog. Men assume that femaleness is easy b/c they don’t truly know what it’s like to be born female.

          MtT ( I refuse to call males ‘females’) aren’t interested in the aspects of femininity that ruin the fun. We females are socialized to clean up male messes, do the dirty work for less pay, struggle with sexual objectification, rape, and all the other not so fun realities of being female.

          I agree in that I see MtT as men who desire some sexual gratification and this is why they perform feminine gender. It’s a stereotype that they indulge themselves in and is nothing like the real thing.

          Liked by 4 people

      • The reason why “MtF are often the most loudest and passionate” because they just really want to pass themselves of as a “woman” ; D

        Jokes people, I dont really believe that, but I do hope that a little joke here and there can highlight problems EVERYWHERE.

        Like

  6. What the fuck. I was this 10 year old who was quoted on this website. Why do you guys have to be so negative? I bought one of the commenters reddit gold because of how helpful they were via PM. I’m not lying about my age.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I would like for there to be an open, honest critique of the practice of “transgendering” children. If for no other reason than that the concept itself seems to be destructive to the integrity of a child’s psyche.

    This – the exploitation and abuse of children and teens – more than anything else underlines the morally bankrupt stupidity of the third/fourth whatever they call themselves pomo-lib-queer bullshitters.

    That they will go along with such an abusive, misogynistic, homophobic practice and all for the sake of showing how they’re one of the cool kids and not like those old ugly prude terfyswerfy radfems.

    Hope more people start asking some serious questions about this too.

    Liked by 5 people

  8. “This is the real face of transgender activism online. This is what your child got sucked into. We’ll talk about deprogramming tips, later, too, but for now, this is our advice:

    If your child thinks he or she is transgender, get them away from the internet and back into reality. Whether your child decides to go through with transition or not, the ideology of transgender activism online is toxic and leads to depression, self-harm, and suicide.”

    I am thankful that you are brave enough to post these very real attempts to brainwash our children. Having an 18 yr old daughter who recently (and with no past or current evidence, and not even a clear reason) decided she is FTM trans, thanks to her research into her “discomfort” on the internet, instead of coming to her father and I to discuss her “discomfort”. This has been amplified by the GSA club at her high school and by the current transgender craziness found daily in the news or online.

    Can you please reply to my reply? I think you may have already contacted me (a different blog/tumblr) but am not sure if you are the same person.

    Thank you for your courage with these posts.

    Liked by 3 people

  9. I find this all very interesting, because my experience has been somewhat different from what has been documented here. I have previously identified as an FTM, and have been questioning my gender a lot lately. When I asked for advice on what to do, several men in my local FTM support group confirmed that doubt was part of the territory for some of us, and one guy suggested I try taking a break from testosterone to see how it felt. When I brought this up with other guys in private messages, all of them were supportive of the idea. Most had concerns over making sure I was receiving adequate medical attention while attempting this, but they all agreed that it was probably in my best interest to stop hormones and see what happened.
    So there are definitely trans communities out there that support critical thinking and questioning these issues. I’m sure that several of them are viewing my experiences through the lens of their own gender dysphoria, but all of them came to agree with me by the end of the discussion (not that it would have made a difference once I had my mind set to it, it’s just nice to know that the people who have been there uncritically for me while I identified as male are continuing to be there for me now that I’m not sure what I am).

    Like

    • I think that’s the difference between the Internet and the real world. All the real life trans people I’ve met are very realistic and down to earth about the trickyness of transitioning and helpful advice, but online there are many people who don’t know what they’re talking about.

      Like

  10. Thinking you are doing what is right is not necessarily doing what is right. Narcissistic parents are willing to crush that which does not mirror their own view of reality. I makes them blind to the suffering of others. At 58, my ability to deny my Gender Confusion stopped.

    To put together arguments why it is not so is rather like building a snowball. Snowballs find other snowballs and avalanche can result

    Forcing a child or an adult to conform to your world view runs the risk of gender diffusion: Where the Gender Identification and Sexual Orientation of a person are effectively wiped out. That can lead to a life full of misery, failed marriages, and not finding yourself. I know from personal experience.

    Get therapy yourself and do not steamroll your children into the mold you choose. If you do, you will be a greater monster than the children you fear so much for.

    What is is. You can ask, but when you insist you are pushing. Pushing is not pulling and if you do not know the difference then you are at risk for trying to control things you have no right to control. Instead question and listen. Redirect questions and help them to express themselves.

    Being trans is normal…it happens. It is not a disease. One can have a great life when one addresses things and makes changes. To judge the thoughts of an other person is rather like judging smoke.

    Judging the Trans self-help movement as you are doing…is failing to realize that self-help is people pulling their help together. Sometimes it takes time. Experimentation in youth is not a bad thing…it is natural. Do not repress it.

    That which a person sows shall they also reap. Many of the trans kids who face this Narcissistic bullying do kill themselves. In my generation they did things to prove they were not trans…Caitlyn Jenner, Kirsten Beck and on and on.

    Listen, support, question but do not push. Do not Judge lest ye be judged and found wanting on the scale of truth and right.

    Like

    • Got a penis and XY chromosomes? You are a guy. End of story. Perhaps you are a faggy guy, but you are a guy. No amount of counseling or self-help can change objective, scientific, biological reality. Instead of encouraging people to mutilate healthy bodies, we need to encourage them to accept themselves as is. Radical self acceptance, not mutilation, is the answer.

      Like

      • “faggy”

        That’s a pretty loaded word to use without some kind of clarification that you’re using it non-pejoratively, especially for someone advocating “radical self acceptance.”

        Like

  11. First time poster. Parent of a thinks he is a girl 15 yo. Glad to have found this website in the past couple of months, it’s truly helped me out of a very depressed time and helped to garner some strength for me to know that there are other concerned parents not just accepting the status quo of this gender/trans movement. Have an older son who is openly gay that we fully support so it’s not that we are LGBT phobic per se although I’m discovering that I think it’s extremely rare that one is truly transgendered. Certainly not the thousands that come out of the wood work on Reddit, Tumblr, etc… and are being the influencing factor for these young teens. Thank you for the work you are doing.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. In the 80s androgynous fashion facilitated tomboy girls and non butch boys without assumptions about gender. The sexualisation of children and polarisation of male and females looks has created the context for this phenomenon. We need more awareness raising and education to protect children and parents.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. We completely lost our daughter. She has now cut us off completely. She was sucked in to the dark hole of the internet trans community and then she joined a group at her college.
    She was hidden from us by the college! The colleges will support cults such as safe space. We searched for our daughter and were desperate to find her. She went dark on Facebook. The college told us she was in a “safe space”.
    She is crazed and gone and never wants to see us again. She is taking hormones, we believe. It is sickening and unbearable to think about. She was also diagnosed with a mental health disorder but this did not stop her from doing the trans thing. She created an entirely new persona that bears no relation to he her former self.
    Parents : fight back!

    Liked by 1 person

    • If you are paying her tuition or other bills, STOP! She will be back when she needs something, unless she is financially independent. So sorry for your hurt and loss. Yes, we MUST fight back. You are not alone. I hope you get your daughter back.

      Like

  14. Yes, Transgenderreality, and lovetruthcourage — I just looked at that site yesterday. Thank you. We stopped her tuition and she managed to come up with money and tell a sob story and get declared an independent student.
    I have talked to experts that do not agree with the trans thing and believe it is a cult. While it is helpful to know that other people have been affected by this, I think we need to come out (perhaps a poor choice of words) in a large group, in person, together, to show the harm that this cult causes.Society is too abstract of a term. We are moms, and dads, and siblings, and our family members are in some cases, gone, or horribly altered.
    I have only told a couple of people that she is doing gender-bending. It is too unspeakable for me to even speak it. I tell people she is mentally ill–which she is. When I did recently tell a friend what she is doing, I got, you-guessed-it, the support speech.
    No, I had to say. You do not have to support your kid no matter what horrible things they do. I feel like I am supporting her by not supporting her. She is mentally ill and has been sucked in to a cult. I am human and it is not humanly possible for me to think of my daughter as anything but my daughter.

    Liked by 2 people

  15. Thank you so much for this blog. It gives me hope that the whole world has not gone totally trans-hysterical. I am a mother of two and I am very concerned. I believe the trans-movement has not been successful in creating safer spaces in which people can expand and express the full range of their individual gender (the belief touted by many of its supporters), but has instead has resulted in an even more restrictive environment; one which promotes and celebrates gender stereotypes and the exchange of one stereotype for the other. I believe much of the mass-media-MtF-trans community (i.e. men who transition into cartoonish, stereotypical versions of “women” with all the relevant stereotypes: heels, lipstick, cleavage, etc.) and all the recent legal changes regarding the de-gendering of bathrooms and locker rooms, is just more misogyny disguised as some kind of leftish-liberalism, and anyone who questions it is automatically labelled a “bigot.” I see the “LBG” as having less and less in common with the “T” (if it ever had anything in common with it in the first place), and if the “T” is feminist in any way it is purely coincidental; I do not see many MtF who hold or purport feminist beliefs in any way. I believe the current mass-trans movement has been harmful to women and to children/adolescents who are just expressing normal every day growing-up stuff. I believe we should be supportive of people learning to love who they are rather than telling them they need to mutilate their bodies and become a gender stereotype in order to feel “okay” about themselves.

    Liked by 2 people

  16. Hi, I wanted to share the point of view of a transwoman that hasn’t been involved with the trans community.
    First of all, I really like your website. I do agree with your articles, and I’ve been really shocked to see what was said in those communities.
    My choices haven’t been influenced by porn or the stuff you talked about (forced-feminization videos if I recall correctly?). I have never been really comfortable with porn or sex anyway, but this article was disgusting (well, what people said, not your point), and I didn’t transition because I wanted to have sex with a “girl-penis”. Actually, SRS was one of my top priority. Also, I wanted to point some things about women hating trans women as I may have seen in some comments… I honestly don’t want to be seen as a man who transitionned just for fetishism and treat women like shit. I really, really care about woman situation in society and I try my best to help changing this.
    I haven’t been forced during my childhood either to be transgender. I had some personnal problems during it (because of other stuff) so I was seeing a psychologist every two weeks. He never forced anything on me about gender, I guess it just came naturally from me.
    I don’t force stereotypes on me either. Of course I like shopping, as a lot of women do. But it’s not the “best thing ever” and I didn’t found that transitionning it “freed” me on clothing, make up and stuff. I did it a bit before, I still do it now. And I don’t have “girl only” center of interests. Honestly I don’t understand why most transgender (on internet, as you show) feel the need to do girl stuff as if they felt the need to justify themselves. I don’t feel this need, I’m just me and I just do what I like, like any “normal” person?
    Anyway, all I wanted to say is that I feel like most people will assimilate trans people like myself – who just wish to live a normal life out of any controversy – to those activists (or whatever you want to call them). I just want you to remember that we are not all like those.
    Thank you again for your website, I wish you the best for the future.

    Like

  17. A gay guy is better off admitting to himself that he is a gay guy, and he is better off practicing radical self-acceptance, than he is pretending to somehow be a woman. Also, if gender isn’t about genitals, why change them?

    Like

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